formerly a fearless temp

.i. uncertainty principle

Yesterday at work, I was laughing at something my brother said and my father's secretary said, "Your laugh is so infectious, it makes me want to laugh. I was telling my kids that I want to tape record it and bring it home and play it for them!"

Kind of weird! But in the neighborhood of a compliment! So I stopped guffawing like an idiot and said, "Wow, thanks."

And then I thought about it for a minute, and remembered how once when I was temping, a coworker came in wearing shoes so hideous that I actually found myself staring at them for so long that said coworker caught on, and I covered by giving her a compliment on them (I totally felt like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls). Was my father's secretary doing the SAME THING? I had been laughing for a while when she asked me.

So then I asked my brother if I laughed like our aunt Amy, a wonderful woman who has a nasal honk of a laugh.

And my brother said, "Yeah, kinda."

The horror I felt at this must have been written all over my face, because then he backtracked, all, "Well, not completely, just a little. Mainly the beginning, like, the 'ha!' part."

And so ever since, I haven't been able to laugh properly! Because whenever I do, part of me is all, "Wait, what do I sound like? A high-pitched foghorn stuck on rapid repeat? Or a normal person?"

I know I have an obnoxiously loud sneeze! Are none of my uncontrolled reflexes unoffensive?

.ii. austin, we have a ljagu

Peeps, my brother is moving to Texas. TEXAS! I KNOW! SO FAR AWAY! A bunch of his friends from college are moving down there, and he's tagging along, and I'm glad for him, happy he'll have an adventure, relieved he'll be escaping the MyLastName Law Firm.

But what if he finds a nice Texan girl and stays there forever? Who will help me move or carry heavy things or run ridiculous errands for my father instead of me?

I will miss him. He makes me laugh more than anyone else I know, and we're pretty much two peas in a pod. But I'm glad he's going, because I think it will make him happy. Also, before I got my new job, I was becoming obsessed with the fear that neither of us would ever leave our childhood home and we would end up like Matthew and Marilla, having to adopt an orphan in our middle age to give our lives meaning. OUR NAMES EVEN START WITH THE SAME INITIAL! SCARY!

But now Jimmy's moving to Texas! And I have a job! Our lives will almost definitely not follow the trajectory of Anne of Green Gables supporting characters!

ANYWAY. If anyone has any advice for Jimmy, aka LJAGU, aka Little Jimmy All Grown Up, it'd be appreciated. I know Kate is down there and I think there might be others familiar with the area, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice or helpful hints about Austin.

.iii. awesome things

I read the Sweet Valley High books as a kid, and the Sagas were my favorite - specifically, the family sagas, the huge book that would trace the twins' ancestors back a few generations. The books were terrible and sometimes offensive and yet I LOVED THEM. A friend from college once gave me the two versions of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley, and MAN, that gift made my birthday.

The other day I found a link to someone doing a review of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley - !!!! I found it awesomely hilarious, and am linking part one here and part two here.

Key plot points: Being separated at Ellis Island! Running away to the circus! Going to speakeasies and speaking in unintelligible slang! Teenagers working for the French Resistance! Hippies!

Another awesome thing I'm into lately is the cable channel A&E, specifically The First 48, which tracks homicide detectives as they try to solve a murder case. Apparently if detectives don't have a suspect in the first 48 hours, the chances of solving the crime go down by 50% or something. I don't know, the point is, the show is ADDICTIVE. Typically each hour tracks two murders and you get to see how the cops look at the crime scene, talk to witnesses, work with CSI and forensics, interrogate suspects, etc.

Totally unexpectedly, YouTube has a clip, AND it features my favorite Detective, Sgt. Mason! She's awesome. She always arrives at the crime scenes fully done-up, hair, nails, high-heeled shoes. And she's a great detective. She's hilarious in this clip.

And I think that's it!

I got some bad news today, news that doesn't directly affect me but makes me very sad for someone else, and so tonight I've been kind of moping around online, trying to find something comforting. I found a few things:

My favorite dance sequence from Strictly Ballroom, Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps. No matter how many times I see it, it still makes me hold my breath a little bit. Fantastic.



Remember that episode of Ugly Betty where Daniel was all devastated over being dumped and Betty was determined to make him feel better, and so she arranged a date with him with Gisele, but evil Amanda canceled it, and so Betty met him instead and they ended up running around New York City and crashing wedding receptions and singing karaoke to get their meal half off, proving that somewhere down the line, they very clearly are mfeo? Wasn't that AWESOME? From that episode, a clip of Daniel and Betty singing I Got You Babe.



This sequence from the Babu Bhatt episode of Seinfeld, you know, the one where Elaine takes an IQ test for George and the Dream Cafe opens down the street from Jerry and, well, wackiness ensues.

Lately I've been trying to talk myself into being more forgiving of the things I go to for entertainment, things like movies, TV, books. I don't think I tend to be hyper-critical (if so, how could I still be half-watching ABC Daytime?), but I do sometimes get caught up on the one flaw rather than the ten wonderful things that came before. Lately I've been thinking about Oprah's Gratitude Journal, which she talked about once on a show in, like, 1997, but which has stuck with me since to the point that every six months or so I end up with a Memo notebook next to my bed with random lists like, "1. Cream cheese. 2. My family. 3. The fact that my car passed inspection."

In that same vein, a few media-related things I am grateful for.

1. I am grateful for Mariah Carey because she wrote and performed my very favorite modern Christmas song, All I Want for Chirstmas Is You. The great thing about this song is how it starts, slowly and in a low enough range that you can feel kind of confident singing along in the car, so that by the time she starts really belting it out, you kinda sorta believe that you and Mariah are singing this TOGETHER, that you can DO THIS, and so you find yourself bopping around in the driver's seat, pointing a finger at the imaginary audience. It's awesome.

2. I am grateful to NBC for giving both Friday Night Lights and 30 Rock full season orders, especially in light of Thursday night's episode of 30 Rock, in which ( 30 rock spoiler )

3. I am grateful for Scrubs because without that show, we would have neither Turk performing Poison or the Sacred Heart Air Band. Regular viewing of these clips is essential to my mental health.

4. I am grateful for the Bourne movies, because they are awesome and perfect comfort movies for me. Also, Matt Damon!

5. I am grateful to jeviltwin for introducing me to Carla Kelly earlier this year, which started me on a romance novel binge I've been indulging on and off for the last several months. I haven't found any other author to match Carla Kelly; I've read ten or so of her books and have only found one stinker. The rest all varied from lovely and charming to INCREDIBLY WONDERFUL, the kinds of books you sneak into work and read when no one's looking because you just can't bear to go another minute without knowing what happens, because the characters are so wonderful and you care about their happiness so much, and! Oh, I can't believe I forgot to mention this! She has a new book coming out next spring! YAY!

6. I am grateful that the people slowly re-releasing Georgette Heyer's books chose Venetia as their latest one, because I had already spent too much money buying used copies of Heyer novels online, and the only copy I could track down to read was from the library and therefore couldn't be mine forever. And I wanted a copy of Venetia that could be mine forever! And now I have it. And I am happy.

I wanted there to be more, but I have to go to bed because I signed up for this stupid volunteer thing tomorrow. Stupid self of earlier this week, who couldn't think of an excuse quickly enough when asked! Stupid self in general, incapable of simply telling people that I want a Sunday just to myself! Stupidity all around!

I was talking to a friend recently (you know who you are!) who revealed to me that she had NEVER SEEN Lionel Richie's incredible video for the song Hello. I was shocked. Shocked! And then when she asked me about it, I realized that I couldn't really remember it, and said something like, "Well, see, he's blind, or maybe she is, and there's this sculpture thing? I can't remember! It's awesome, though!"

And so I went to the source of all awesomeness - aka YouTube - and found the video, which was all that I remembered it to be AND MORE.

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

I had forgotten SO MANY THINGS!

(1) The opening minute or so is almost beyond belief. Lionel as drama teacher, setting up a scene! And then he sits back to watch and, after staring in this longing/lustful way at the blind girl, BURSTS INTO SONG. It happens multiple times throughout the song, and never stops being hilarious. Especially when he bursts out with an emphatic "Hello!" and looks like my cat trying to get rid of a hairball.

(2) The main thing I forgot about the video was that it's SO CREEPY! He basically stalks her, which is all the more disturbing because she can't see that he's there.

(3) And!! He's her teacher, and I first assumed he was her professor, but then they show her at lockers and taking a bunch of classes in one building, and there are bells ringing in the halls, and I was forced to wonder if she was supposed to be in high school. !!! Which ups the creep level significantly.

(4) I think the last thirty seconds of the video could be sent to the archives as the definition of cheese.

Oh, Lionel! I've tried to explain why I own his greatest hits, and, well, I don't know! The songs make me laugh, but not in a completely mocking way. I totally sing along to them with all my power, and there is something endearing about the earnestness of his songs, even if they are ridiculous. Maybe because they are ridiculous! I love it.

I'm pretty sure youtube is responsible for 90% of my recent sleep deprivation.

Emperor Palpatine is having a bad day - a segment from Robot Chicken. Pretty hilarious.

and one more!

Stormy Weather Excerpt - Nicholas Brothers - the note on the clip said that Fred Astaire called this the greatest tap performance ever put on film, and I can believe it. Worth checking out.

Is it annoying that I'm posting these clips? They bring joy to my evenings of annoying study, and so I share them with others! But is it clogging up people's flists? Should I make a filter?