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fearlesstemp.i. uncertainty principle
Yesterday at work, I was laughing at something my brother said and my father's secretary said, "Your laugh is so infectious, it makes me want to laugh. I was telling my kids that I want to tape record it and bring it home and play it for them!"
Kind of weird! But in the neighborhood of a compliment! So I stopped guffawing like an idiot and said, "Wow, thanks."
And then I thought about it for a minute, and remembered how once when I was temping, a coworker came in wearing shoes so hideous that I actually found myself staring at them for so long that said coworker caught on, and I covered by giving her a compliment on them (I totally felt like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls). Was my father's secretary doing the SAME THING? I had been laughing for a while when she asked me.
So then I asked my brother if I laughed like our aunt Amy, a wonderful woman who has a nasal honk of a laugh.
And my brother said, "Yeah, kinda."
The horror I felt at this must have been written all over my face, because then he backtracked, all, "Well, not completely, just a little. Mainly the beginning, like, the 'ha!' part."
And so ever since, I haven't been able to laugh properly! Because whenever I do, part of me is all, "Wait, what do I sound like? A high-pitched foghorn stuck on rapid repeat? Or a normal person?"
I know I have an obnoxiously loud sneeze! Are none of my uncontrolled reflexes unoffensive?
.ii. austin, we have a ljagu
Peeps, my brother is moving to Texas. TEXAS! I KNOW! SO FAR AWAY! A bunch of his friends from college are moving down there, and he's tagging along, and I'm glad for him, happy he'll have an adventure, relieved he'll be escaping the MyLastName Law Firm.
But what if he finds a nice Texan girl and stays there forever? Who will help me move or carry heavy things or run ridiculous errands for my father instead of me?
I will miss him. He makes me laugh more than anyone else I know, and we're pretty much two peas in a pod. But I'm glad he's going, because I think it will make him happy. Also, before I got my new job, I was becoming obsessed with the fear that neither of us would ever leave our childhood home and we would end up like Matthew and Marilla, having to adopt an orphan in our middle age to give our lives meaning. OUR NAMES EVEN START WITH THE SAME INITIAL! SCARY!
But now Jimmy's moving to Texas! And I have a job! Our lives will almost definitely not follow the trajectory of Anne of Green Gables supporting characters!
ANYWAY. If anyone has any advice for Jimmy, aka LJAGU, aka Little Jimmy All Grown Up, it'd be appreciated. I know Kate is down there and I think there might be others familiar with the area, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice or helpful hints about Austin.
.iii. awesome things
I read the Sweet Valley High books as a kid, and the Sagas were my favorite - specifically, the family sagas, the huge book that would trace the twins' ancestors back a few generations. The books were terrible and sometimes offensive and yet I LOVED THEM. A friend from college once gave me the two versions of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley, and MAN, that gift made my birthday.
The other day I found a link to someone doing a review of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley - !!!! I found it awesomely hilarious, and am linking part one here and part two here.
Key plot points: Being separated at Ellis Island! Running away to the circus! Going to speakeasies and speaking in unintelligible slang! Teenagers working for the French Resistance! Hippies!
Another awesome thing I'm into lately is the cable channel A&E, specifically The First 48, which tracks homicide detectives as they try to solve a murder case. Apparently if detectives don't have a suspect in the first 48 hours, the chances of solving the crime go down by 50% or something. I don't know, the point is, the show is ADDICTIVE. Typically each hour tracks two murders and you get to see how the cops look at the crime scene, talk to witnesses, work with CSI and forensics, interrogate suspects, etc.
Totally unexpectedly, YouTube has a clip, AND it features my favorite Detective, Sgt. Mason! She's awesome. She always arrives at the crime scenes fully done-up, hair, nails, high-heeled shoes. And she's a great detective. She's hilarious in this clip.
And I think that's it!
Yesterday at work, I was laughing at something my brother said and my father's secretary said, "Your laugh is so infectious, it makes me want to laugh. I was telling my kids that I want to tape record it and bring it home and play it for them!"
Kind of weird! But in the neighborhood of a compliment! So I stopped guffawing like an idiot and said, "Wow, thanks."
And then I thought about it for a minute, and remembered how once when I was temping, a coworker came in wearing shoes so hideous that I actually found myself staring at them for so long that said coworker caught on, and I covered by giving her a compliment on them (I totally felt like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls). Was my father's secretary doing the SAME THING? I had been laughing for a while when she asked me.
So then I asked my brother if I laughed like our aunt Amy, a wonderful woman who has a nasal honk of a laugh.
And my brother said, "Yeah, kinda."
The horror I felt at this must have been written all over my face, because then he backtracked, all, "Well, not completely, just a little. Mainly the beginning, like, the 'ha!' part."
And so ever since, I haven't been able to laugh properly! Because whenever I do, part of me is all, "Wait, what do I sound like? A high-pitched foghorn stuck on rapid repeat? Or a normal person?"
I know I have an obnoxiously loud sneeze! Are none of my uncontrolled reflexes unoffensive?
.ii. austin, we have a ljagu
Peeps, my brother is moving to Texas. TEXAS! I KNOW! SO FAR AWAY! A bunch of his friends from college are moving down there, and he's tagging along, and I'm glad for him, happy he'll have an adventure, relieved he'll be escaping the MyLastName Law Firm.
But what if he finds a nice Texan girl and stays there forever? Who will help me move or carry heavy things or run ridiculous errands for my father instead of me?
I will miss him. He makes me laugh more than anyone else I know, and we're pretty much two peas in a pod. But I'm glad he's going, because I think it will make him happy. Also, before I got my new job, I was becoming obsessed with the fear that neither of us would ever leave our childhood home and we would end up like Matthew and Marilla, having to adopt an orphan in our middle age to give our lives meaning. OUR NAMES EVEN START WITH THE SAME INITIAL! SCARY!
But now Jimmy's moving to Texas! And I have a job! Our lives will almost definitely not follow the trajectory of Anne of Green Gables supporting characters!
ANYWAY. If anyone has any advice for Jimmy, aka LJAGU, aka Little Jimmy All Grown Up, it'd be appreciated. I know Kate is down there and I think there might be others familiar with the area, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice or helpful hints about Austin.
.iii. awesome things
I read the Sweet Valley High books as a kid, and the Sagas were my favorite - specifically, the family sagas, the huge book that would trace the twins' ancestors back a few generations. The books were terrible and sometimes offensive and yet I LOVED THEM. A friend from college once gave me the two versions of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley, and MAN, that gift made my birthday.
The other day I found a link to someone doing a review of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley - !!!! I found it awesomely hilarious, and am linking part one here and part two here.
Key plot points: Being separated at Ellis Island! Running away to the circus! Going to speakeasies and speaking in unintelligible slang! Teenagers working for the French Resistance! Hippies!
Another awesome thing I'm into lately is the cable channel A&E, specifically The First 48, which tracks homicide detectives as they try to solve a murder case. Apparently if detectives don't have a suspect in the first 48 hours, the chances of solving the crime go down by 50% or something. I don't know, the point is, the show is ADDICTIVE. Typically each hour tracks two murders and you get to see how the cops look at the crime scene, talk to witnesses, work with CSI and forensics, interrogate suspects, etc.
Totally unexpectedly, YouTube has a clip, AND it features my favorite Detective, Sgt. Mason! She's awesome. She always arrives at the crime scenes fully done-up, hair, nails, high-heeled shoes. And she's a great detective. She's hilarious in this clip.
And I think that's it!
