formerly a fearless temp

.i. uncertainty principle

Yesterday at work, I was laughing at something my brother said and my father's secretary said, "Your laugh is so infectious, it makes me want to laugh. I was telling my kids that I want to tape record it and bring it home and play it for them!"

Kind of weird! But in the neighborhood of a compliment! So I stopped guffawing like an idiot and said, "Wow, thanks."

And then I thought about it for a minute, and remembered how once when I was temping, a coworker came in wearing shoes so hideous that I actually found myself staring at them for so long that said coworker caught on, and I covered by giving her a compliment on them (I totally felt like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls). Was my father's secretary doing the SAME THING? I had been laughing for a while when she asked me.

So then I asked my brother if I laughed like our aunt Amy, a wonderful woman who has a nasal honk of a laugh.

And my brother said, "Yeah, kinda."

The horror I felt at this must have been written all over my face, because then he backtracked, all, "Well, not completely, just a little. Mainly the beginning, like, the 'ha!' part."

And so ever since, I haven't been able to laugh properly! Because whenever I do, part of me is all, "Wait, what do I sound like? A high-pitched foghorn stuck on rapid repeat? Or a normal person?"

I know I have an obnoxiously loud sneeze! Are none of my uncontrolled reflexes unoffensive?

.ii. austin, we have a ljagu

Peeps, my brother is moving to Texas. TEXAS! I KNOW! SO FAR AWAY! A bunch of his friends from college are moving down there, and he's tagging along, and I'm glad for him, happy he'll have an adventure, relieved he'll be escaping the MyLastName Law Firm.

But what if he finds a nice Texan girl and stays there forever? Who will help me move or carry heavy things or run ridiculous errands for my father instead of me?

I will miss him. He makes me laugh more than anyone else I know, and we're pretty much two peas in a pod. But I'm glad he's going, because I think it will make him happy. Also, before I got my new job, I was becoming obsessed with the fear that neither of us would ever leave our childhood home and we would end up like Matthew and Marilla, having to adopt an orphan in our middle age to give our lives meaning. OUR NAMES EVEN START WITH THE SAME INITIAL! SCARY!

But now Jimmy's moving to Texas! And I have a job! Our lives will almost definitely not follow the trajectory of Anne of Green Gables supporting characters!

ANYWAY. If anyone has any advice for Jimmy, aka LJAGU, aka Little Jimmy All Grown Up, it'd be appreciated. I know Kate is down there and I think there might be others familiar with the area, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice or helpful hints about Austin.

.iii. awesome things

I read the Sweet Valley High books as a kid, and the Sagas were my favorite - specifically, the family sagas, the huge book that would trace the twins' ancestors back a few generations. The books were terrible and sometimes offensive and yet I LOVED THEM. A friend from college once gave me the two versions of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley, and MAN, that gift made my birthday.

The other day I found a link to someone doing a review of the Wakefields of Sweet Valley - !!!! I found it awesomely hilarious, and am linking part one here and part two here.

Key plot points: Being separated at Ellis Island! Running away to the circus! Going to speakeasies and speaking in unintelligible slang! Teenagers working for the French Resistance! Hippies!

Another awesome thing I'm into lately is the cable channel A&E, specifically The First 48, which tracks homicide detectives as they try to solve a murder case. Apparently if detectives don't have a suspect in the first 48 hours, the chances of solving the crime go down by 50% or something. I don't know, the point is, the show is ADDICTIVE. Typically each hour tracks two murders and you get to see how the cops look at the crime scene, talk to witnesses, work with CSI and forensics, interrogate suspects, etc.

Totally unexpectedly, YouTube has a clip, AND it features my favorite Detective, Sgt. Mason! She's awesome. She always arrives at the crime scenes fully done-up, hair, nails, high-heeled shoes. And she's a great detective. She's hilarious in this clip.

And I think that's it!

The Mets won today, which automatically kicks this day into the good column (though it would have been there regardless). Really, though, the game-winning is becoming such a rare occurence that it probably could bump a non-spectacular day up to great.

Seriously. What's up with the suckage? I mean, they're a good team. They won the pennant last year! Mike Piazza! Edgardo Alfonzo! Benny! What's going on? They should be good! What's holding them back? Is it because I haven't been watching the games? (perhaps they can sense it) But guys, I don't have cable, I don't get FSNY. I'm with you in spirit.

Anyway.

Today was a Good Day. Spent it home with the fam, had a lovely fun-filled time. I washed my car (which is a Very Good Thing), and in the process got embroiled in an extremely tense water fight with my brother in front of our neighbors who were landscaping across the street. (I swear, all these people do is fiddle with their lawns. Not even flowers, just lawns. I'm convinced it's just to make us look bad.) Anyway, it was a long, hard battle, but I emerged triumphant. Must have been a sight -- me, 20 years old, chasing 17-year-old Jimmy around with a hose hollering "Coward! Stand and fight! Stop running in the house and hiding, baby!"

I then went to the grocery store with maternal unit, who (because she's an altogether lovely person) bought me supplies for my dorm room. Came home, hollered at Pat Robertson and then Pat Buchanan on CNN's Wolf Blitzer show, ate some dinner, and watched TV. A good day.

Speaking of TV: I watched the X-Files and totally, totally loved the ending. Because I'm a sap like that. I won't hide it! I am. Though the whole three wise men/guided by a star/miracle child thing was laid on a little thick (I wouldn't have been surprised if she said "Jesus" when he asked what she was going to name him), I did like the show. And the ending was just, well, sweet! I fell for it. Sigh.

So, if the show's going on, Mulder's not going to be there, right? I was all scared the episode would end with him running off to find Scully's kidnapped baby (a fear that probably made the ending that did occur appear all the more wonderful). So now will it be Reyes and Doggett running The X-Files? Because I wouldn't be completely opposed to it, I like both of them.

Some people ponder great life issues, I think about the fate of The X-Files. Such is my limited brain function.

Anyway, I'm off to bed, because I'm going to go exercise tomorrow. (I am! I am!)

I went home for the weekend for Mother's Day -- a weekend during which my mom ended up buying me stuff and doing my laundry -- love ya Mom! There's something hopelessly wrong about that. But she did it on her own, really! I woke up today and BAM, my clothes were magically folded in my basket. And am I *really* supposed to say no to gas money or an offer to buy my oh-so-expensive (but necessary due to sensitive skin) face wash? I probably am, but I can't help it. I'm weak! My mom's far too nice! A deadly combination. I did thank her profusely and remark on the irony of the situation ("Happy Mother's Day, Mom! Now, will ya get to my laundry? And my car's not going to gas itself up, is it?") to her. And I gave her a nice card and a gift and she knows that I love her. Not to mention the fact that I never did drugs or got pregnant as a teenager, which is a gift that keeps on giving.

But anyway, I was home for the weekend and -- hurrah! -- had access to cable. It was lovely. Clear reception, lots of channels to choose from. I got to watch music videos and news shows and the Mets suck (which I can actually do from here sometimes), but ended up spending most of Friday night (pardon me as I reveal how incredibly dorktacular I am) watching the SciFi Channel. For hours. I watched FarScape and The Invisible Man and, in the wee hours, some show that got canceled a few years ago starring the girl from Will & Grace and the invisible man of The Invisible Man, Prey. I became most attached to the last show, of course, because I'm a TV masochist.

What is a TV masochist, you ask? Why, it's someone like me, who gets involved in shows long after their cancellation, when there is no hope for any resolution to any storylines left hanging. Also, it's someone who gets involved in shows that he or she can't really watch due to bad/inaccessible timeslot or station. Like me and Prey.

I should know better. The China Beach Incident was less than a year ago. I became absolutely obsessed with the show after watching a weekend-long marathon on TV Land with a friend, only to be unable to watch it after due to lack-of-cable, and unable to get any kind of closure because the dumbasses at TV Land didn't buy all of the episodes! Bastards. I still hold a grudge. And want to see how it ends.

Anyway, all I want to do now is watch Prey. Or maybe The Invisible Man or Farscape. You know, most scifi TV is is soap opera with aliens, I think, and that's probably why I can get so quickly and easily addicted. And they have cute guys running around acting all troubled and soulful and there's usually a little romance and -- sigh -- what more could a girl ask for?

A life, I guess, but let's not aim too high. :)