formerly a fearless temp

I was talking to a friend recently (you know who you are!) who revealed to me that she had NEVER SEEN Lionel Richie's incredible video for the song Hello. I was shocked. Shocked! And then when she asked me about it, I realized that I couldn't really remember it, and said something like, "Well, see, he's blind, or maybe she is, and there's this sculpture thing? I can't remember! It's awesome, though!"

And so I went to the source of all awesomeness - aka YouTube - and found the video, which was all that I remembered it to be AND MORE.

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

I had forgotten SO MANY THINGS!

(1) The opening minute or so is almost beyond belief. Lionel as drama teacher, setting up a scene! And then he sits back to watch and, after staring in this longing/lustful way at the blind girl, BURSTS INTO SONG. It happens multiple times throughout the song, and never stops being hilarious. Especially when he bursts out with an emphatic "Hello!" and looks like my cat trying to get rid of a hairball.

(2) The main thing I forgot about the video was that it's SO CREEPY! He basically stalks her, which is all the more disturbing because she can't see that he's there.

(3) And!! He's her teacher, and I first assumed he was her professor, but then they show her at lockers and taking a bunch of classes in one building, and there are bells ringing in the halls, and I was forced to wonder if she was supposed to be in high school. !!! Which ups the creep level significantly.

(4) I think the last thirty seconds of the video could be sent to the archives as the definition of cheese.

Oh, Lionel! I've tried to explain why I own his greatest hits, and, well, I don't know! The songs make me laugh, but not in a completely mocking way. I totally sing along to them with all my power, and there is something endearing about the earnestness of his songs, even if they are ridiculous. Maybe because they are ridiculous! I love it.

I worry about my relationship with my parking lot attendant. I mean, we never make eye contact anymore! This is troubling because my relationship with him is about the most fulfilling one I am having with a male within ten years of my age who I am not related to.

I mean, we used to smile! Wave! Say hello! That was back before I got my electronic parking pass and had to hand over the little parking validation things to him to get out of the garage. Oh, the price one pays for the convenience of being able to open the gate oneself! I'm about ready to pretend to forget my card just so I can say hello to him. I am so very desperate, it's sad. I mean, every so often he'll look up from the newspaper and kind of wave, but it's not the same! No verbal acknowledgment! And also, since I have like no depth perception, those rare occasions we do make eye contact nowadays come about because I've stopped the car too far from the little card-reader-thingy and have to open the door and hang out awkwardly to reach the card-reader-thingy. Not the most attractive position.

Oh well. The sad ballad of Jess and the Unnamed Parking Attendant. It is so very tragic.

Also, I appear to be the Typhoid Mary of law firms -- this is the second place in a row where I've gone and someone's gotten fired while I'm there. This time, though, it's actually the person I'm replacing so they apparently may want me to stick around for a while. I'm supposed to think about it so I'm sure I'll be torturing you all with a long, boring should-I-stay-or-should-I-go entry. Aren't you excited? In that completely not-excited-at-all way?

Speaking of excited: Not So Deep, Not So Dark Secret Here: I love really bad CD compilations. One of the perils of my Soapnet addiction is the sheer number of CD compilation ads -- I end up wanting ALL of them quite desperately. And since I don't have particularly good taste in music to begin with (I know, I know, I'm growing uncooler by the moment -- does it help that I don't like the fact that I'm not more discerning when it comes to music?), it's really quite dangerous. So dangerous, in fact, that it causes me to ignore IMPERATIVE things like JC NEWS. I know! They're going to make me turn in my Obsessive Stalker Fan Card! No one will find this interesting except me and Kaelie, but watch me post this anyway. It's my journal! I have that kind of power!

( what do you get when you mix kaelie, jess, jc news, and an inappropriately timed commercial for a lionel ritchie compilation cd? wackiness! )