passport, bras

[fearlesstemp]

The only good thing I can say about my passport photo - the ONLY good thing - is that my right eyebrow looks pretty good. Well-groomed, appropriate (if slight) arch, good (also natural) color. Everything else? Horrible! Awful horrible terrible bad! Should be burned at the border!

The first thing that should be noted is my complexion which - as I have mentioned to several individuals - shines as if I rubbed vegetable oil on my face seconds before my photo. I look like one of those displays at the makeup counter for the T-Zone, where a perfectly normal girl has the forehead/nose/chin T-Line lit up in a different color, except in my case there has been no Photoshop or post-development touch up. This shine is all me, baby!

Also of note:

-my left eyebrow, which is both longer and more unruly than my right;

-the super-frizzy hair;

-my awkward, constipated expression (Not completely my fault! The post office photographer told me to smile when I'd read that you're not supposed to smile in passport photos anymore, and so we had this weird, "Smile!"/"But I'm not supposed to!"/"Sure you can!"/"But-"/"SMILE!" conversation with an entire post office full of people waiting and watching);

-the awesome double chin caused by my insane consumption of all edible things within arm's reach since Thanksgiving; and

-I think my right eye is bigger than my left, which I never noticed until now!

The moral of the story is that when one asks oneself, "Do I need to touch up my makeup before having this ID picture taken that will follow me around for a decade?" the answer is always - ALWAYS - yes.

If only one could travel back in time and apply loose power. IF ONLY.

This is a long introduction to this fact: I'm going to Europe! Soon! In 2.5 weeks! I am so totally, completely under-prepared! Today I decided to start preparing by going to Marshalls to look for new bras, because I desperately need new ones but am too cheap to pay full price. Right now I'm wearing these convertible ones, but I keep losing the straps. It's gotten bad, to the point that I kind of look like I'm making some kind of funky statement with my undergarments - wearing a tan bra with one pink strap, the the other black - when actually I just can't find all of the straps. I think the cats are stealing them.

(It's convenient having little critters around; you can blame them for losing things when really it's just your own carelessness.)

Anyway! No luck on the bra hunting. You may ask why I need new bras for Europe. The answer is, of course, just in case I run into my famous secret admirer while cavorting about the Continent. Also, my mother had a romance with a ski instructor when she went to Austria in her early twenties (she broke her ankle on the slopes and he quit his job to take her to the hospital! I KNOW!). Maybe it's in the blood!

Also, what if I'm in a terrible accident and become known as the American Girl With Mismatched Underwear and Horribly Unflattering ID? Oh, the HORROR!

Comments

Passport photos

[canalbaby.livejournal.com]

As a passport acceptance agent, I can tell you that probably 90% of the photos we see are pretty bad. I usually tell people, No, really, you want your picture to look like you've just stumbled off of a 12-hour flight.

And yes, you're right about the smiling: one of the most recent passport newsletters emphasized having a "neutral" expression, and avoiding excessive smileyness.


And have fun in Europe!

[remainthesame.livejournal.com]

Trip! Jess, I'm so excited for you!

[glendaglamazon.livejournal.com]

All that matters is that you're going to Europe!

It is amusing how vain I become in the twenty minutes before any ID photo. I'm the sort of girl who generally only wears makeup for a special occasion (or the first two weeks of a new job), but for ID photos? It's like I'ma be on the cover of Vogue. As a consequence, my ID pictures all look leagues better than I am ever likely to look when someone is asking for said ID. Not really the smartest plan. I think your way--accidental though it be--is better.

wait!

[popgurlie.livejournal.com]

when are you going to europe? where are you going to europe? i, too, am leaving in about two weeks, perhaps we shall be in the same place?

yes, definitely stock up on cute underwear...

[foxyfrau.livejournal.com]

...because you are going to be here in Germany for a whole WEEK practically (YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH) *does cartwheels around the office* and though we will not be going skiing, we can certainly undertake activities in which you can do something clutzy and win the sympathy/admiration of a dreamy European boy.

JESS, we are going to see each other in.... 17 days! Weeee!

[meinnim.livejournal.com]

Yay, you're going to Europe! That is fabulous news.

I think there's an unwritten rule that passport photos have to be bad. If you're going to an exotic, foreign locale (a good thing), then you need to have a bad photo to balance it out. *g*