fearlesstemp: (working girl)
[personal profile] fearlesstemp
You know those annoying free registration form thingies on the internet? Most of the time you don't really feel like sending your home address to some random company, so you just fill out the form with bogus information, right? I used to do this all the time. Did you know that there is someone sitting on the other end who has to sort out those bogus entries?

I AM THAT PERSON.

Temp jobs need to be measured by a variety of factors - someday I will draw up a weighted scale, which includes (but is not limited to) privacy of work zone, accessible & fun lunch locales, a benevolent policy concerning tardiness. But a key factor - probably the key factor - is just how many times you find yourself fantasizing about stabbing yourself in the hand with the nearest sharp instrument to get out of the rest of the day's work, because the sharp bleeding pain would be better than the slow soul death of whatever cruel task you've been assigned (on a tough day, this could be defined as liberally as being asked to pick up the phone, or speak civilly to anyone at all).

But this latest job! This latest job takes the cake, I think. I spend all day scanning 3500 free registration forms for fake ones - like Homer J. Simpson from Springfield, or Harry Potter from England. You may wonder: What if there are actual, non-fictional Homers and Harrys? Well, even so, they would still be booted for their obscenity-riddled company lines. The jokesters can never resist the obscenities! Homer@fuckoff.net? Genius!

Also, I am all by myself in a little cubby and while I can hear people having funny conversations around me, I cannot see them or participate in any way, and so I feel like a pathetic girl of the week on some episode of The X-Files or Touched By An Angel. In the former, some supernatural phenomena a la Buffy's Invisible Girl would cause me to disappear without a trace in between lunch and quittin' time. My new coworkers would know little about me, save the fact that I drink Diet Coke like it's water and have eaten a Three Musketeers bar at my desk both days. Were my strange eating habits a symptom of a larger, alien-caused problem? Or did I just disappear because NO ONE CARED? Scully would insist that I just left on my own when no one was looking, and then they'd go out and stand by my car in the blustery February cold and Scully would look vaguely distasteful but try not to be cruel about it, and Mulder would make an inappropriate joke, and one of them would say, "...I wonder how she got this way" just before they cut to commercial.

I am still undecided as to my ultimate fate.

In the Touched By An Angel version, Roma Downey would be a temp who starts after me and to whom I offer advice re: lunch locations (Panera's on Wednesdays - potato soup day! My life is so sad.). At the end, of course, the magic light of divine inspiration would appear, and she would deliver unto me my ultimate life path, and maybe I'd even run into an appropriate love interest at the Citgo station after I'd burned rubber out of the office complex with some inspirational, cheesy music blaring from my car, ready to start my new life.

(I was trying to figure out a way for John Dye to be there, because I LOVED him, but he was the Angel of Death, and I don't want anyone to die right now - but the show figured out a way to put him in every episode, so I guess I will too. He was there too.)

SPEAKING of ultimate life paths – tomorrow I have a meeting with the school where I'm hoping to get my MAT. I am supposed to bring to this meeting all of my transcripts, especially the ones from another local university that ran a foreign language program through the high school I attended – I took college level Spanish in high school and I need to find out if what I took meets the state requirements for a foreign language. (No, I never took any in college. I am an Ugly American. Foreign languages bore me to tears. I would love to know how to speak one – it would be awesome to be able to pronounce foreign locales or menu items at nice restaurants without sounding like you're trying to do a hick impression, but the actual act of learning a foreign language is so boring to me that when I think of hell or torture, I think of my high school Spanish classes.)

I submitted my request early last week, right after I made the appointment for tomorrow and – get this – I gave myself PLENTY of turnaround time. Okay, well just enough turnaround time. The max they say is standard plus one day, if you must know.

Today dawns, have no transcript, yada yada yada – I call them to see if I can pick it up in person.

"Oh," Registrar Lady says. "Yes, we've got it right here. We can't process it because there's a hold on you. Some library books were returned late?"

I have always wondered if someday, somehow, my abuse of the library system would come back to haunt me – but I have to say I was honestly surprised and shocked when it happened. I returned books late, and while I'm almost positive I paid the fine, we are talking about ME here, and it's entirely possible I didn't.

But. Even if I go and pay the fine tomorrow, even if they release the hold, even if I show up in person with cash in hand for the transcript – STILL they refuse to give me my transcript in fewer than three-to-five business days. I think I had a rage blackout a la Summer Roberts at this because if they had CONTACTED me when they first realized this, as I REQUESTED ON MY FORM if there were any problems, I could have handled this in plenty of time! Well, maybe not plenty of time! But probably by the skin of my teeth!

Now I have to go into the meeting tomorrow without it! And look like the flake I am!

That was only the beginning of my annoying bad day. Other events:

-THEY CANCELED AMERICAN DREAMS. Or at least that's what they're saying on the TWoP. I almost cried in the middle of Registration #1789 (approx) of the day.

-I arrived at my tutoring session at 5:30, thinking I was a half hour early, just enough time to throw together a lesson plan for the hour-long session we'd planned for six. Except my student was there. And had been there since 5, which was when he thought we were supposed to meet. I had to freestyle basic literacy for ninety minutes.

I must not be Nancy Negativity all the way through though, right? I seriously just typed Nancy Negativity there, didn't I. I'm leaving it there to remind myself how dangerous alliteration can be.

Non-Heinous Events:

-I may be able to leave the current wretched temp job in a couple of weeks – one of my old temp assignments (remember the Evil Republican Law Firm? It's looking shiny in comparison to my current digs) needs someone to fill in for a while and I may take it on if they will work with my schedule.

-I made a really good omelet for dinner.

-I bought new lipstick and I love it so much that I actually did a Before/After demonstration for my mother in the kitchen after work.

-In the quest to find any old records of my Spanish grade/credit, my mother went through her Drawer O' Motherly Pride and unearthed my VERY FIRST BOOK! The Lost Baby, by Jessica MyLastName. It was dedicated to my mother and featured a cute little plot and illustrations that look like they were done by an intoxicated bear. A family goes camping and leaves the baby behind! What to do, what to do! (For those of you stressing out – spoiler warning! – the baby is found and fine.) I don't know if any other elementary schools did this, but I thought this was an awesome thing – we made up these books, and got them typed up and drew pictures with markers and had them semi-bound and then PUT IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY. You could take them out using your library card! There was an About the Author on the back and everything.

And now I must go stress about the interview and figure out what I'm going to WEAR. And also sleep.

Date: 2005-02-03 07:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] walkingshadow.livejournal.com
re: your X-Files/Touched by an Angel fate: it would be just like that! Just like!

I must not be Nancy Negativity all the way through though, right? I seriously just typed Nancy Negativity there, didn't I. I'm leaving it there to remind myself how dangerous alliteration can be.

*giggles helplessly* Where do you go to get them to let you blog for a living?

And Panera! Soup, mmmm, and they make a mean panini.

Date: 2005-02-07 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
I have not tried the panini! Is it really good? I can never resist the soup in a bread bowl.

Where do you go to get them to let you blog for a living?

If you find out, let me know!

Date: 2005-02-07 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] walkingshadow.livejournal.com
The Frontera Chicken panini is mmmm. I'll usually get a half panini and either a half salad (Asian Sesame Chicken) or a cup of soup; I'm not a huge fan of the soup-in-a-bread-bowl thing, but that's mostly because I love their bread SO MUCH and want it not soaked in soup.

I've been spending a bit of time there lately, does it show?

Date: 2005-02-03 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nobodygirl.livejournal.com
-THEY CANCELED AMERICAN DREAMS. Or at least that's what they're saying on the TWoP.

What?! Noooooooooooo. This can NOT be.

Date: 2005-02-07 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
It appears I jumped the gun! It's not official yet, but they did cut the episode order from 19 to 17. I just went and signed an online petition because I NEED my regular JJ Pryor fix, even if it is an upsetting fix since EVERYTHING BAD HAPPENS TO JJ.

Date: 2005-02-03 07:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] navia.livejournal.com
-THEY CANCELED AMERICAN DREAMS. Or at least that's what they're saying on the TWoP.

Please do not give a girl a heart attack. I had to research this immediately and found no official announcements about it. I did, however, find these comforting comments:

Mother Zucker [entertainment president of NBC] recently ordered more episodes of "American Dreams." It's almost like he's decided to just stop broadcasting for the world and start broadcasting for himself and his relatives or whatever. I look forward to seeing NBC's midseason shows all get quick hooks for scoring higher ratings. "Dreams" could probably do a 0.0/0 and still get renewed.

and:

It would be really stupid for NBC to cancel American Dreams now. If they can make it through one more season, they'll have enough episodes to sell the show into syndication, which is where networks make most of their money anyway.

Date: 2005-02-07 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
Ah! Thank you for all this! It's very reassuring. Also, I love that icon.

Date: 2005-02-03 08:30 am (UTC)
ext_847: shep actually asleep by ciderpress (you only wish you were this cool)
From: [identity profile] miriad.livejournal.com
Wow, sounds like your day went about as well as mine. I hope that things start to go better for you- you most certainly deserve it.

Good luck with the interview! I've got my fingers crossed for you.

Date: 2005-02-07 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
Thanks for the good wishes! It went pretty well. :)

I'm sorry you had a rotten day! Hope your weekend was good.

Date: 2005-02-03 02:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evilprettykitty.livejournal.com
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What will I do without my Dreams fix??

Date: 2005-02-07 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
It appears I was premature! There's still nothing official, right? I seriously don't know what I'll do if it's actually canceled. I need my Dreams!

Date: 2005-02-03 03:49 pm (UTC)
ext_10489: Jack-o-lanterns (megalion - Bucky: I Win!)
From: [identity profile] jeviltwin.livejournal.com
This entry is so awesome I wish I had time to elaborate on its awesomeness. In the interim:

I don't know if any other elementary schools did this, but I thought this was an awesome thing – we made up these books, and got them typed up and drew pictures with markers and had them semi-bound

YES! My elementary did this several years in a row, if I recall. It was a source of much delight. I think the whole book-making project was part of some state-wide writing contest...thing. It was one of the few times I really liked school. I'm pretty sure I still have the two I remember doing, one of which featured a lost cat (something about lost really registers with kids, doesn't it?) who looked like my cat Nix if she'd had a severe case of mumps.

Date: 2005-02-07 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
Thanks for saying nice things about the entry!

It was one of the few times I really liked school.

Me too! I can still remember how thrilled I was when I got it back all bound and laminated.

I'm pretty sure I still have the two I remember doing, one of which featured a lost cat (something about lost really registers with kids, doesn't it?) who looked like my cat Nix if she'd had a severe case of mumps.

LOL at the mumps thing - and yes, the lost thing really does resonate with kids. It's such a scary idea, with such an easy happy ending - the person/animal/item being discovered again. And now, of course, it is a hit TV show. Clearly you and I were onto something.

Also: Bucky! I love that icon. I respond with my own, which is far more boring but still Buckyful.

I miss Panera bread

Date: 2005-02-03 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] claris.livejournal.com
...they don't have them in LA. Or at least, not in W. LA. Mmm...cheddar broccoli soup in a bread bowl...

::sigh::

I'm so gonna have to get dinner from Corner Bakery now. *grin*

Re: I miss Panera bread

Date: 2005-02-03 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com
we have panera bread! if you came to live here, you could have it all the time! We don't, however, have chick fil a.

Re: I miss Panera bread

Date: 2005-02-07 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
A place with NO PANERA? That's tragic! It sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but I'm really not! How does one go on without their bread bowls? But I suppose a place named Corner Bakery is just the kind of thing to tide you over.

Date: 2005-02-03 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com
that hold on your transcript? Yeah, same thing here. They didn't tell me either. I mean it had been what, six YEARS since I graduated, and they released my diploma, you'd think they would have held it back and/or sent me a bill or something if they really wanted their money. But noooo!

I found out about the hold when I was trying to get my undergrad transcript for my law school application. I owed $5.00 in unpaid library fines. Since the library in question, and the bursar, was several cities and 100 miles away, I had to overnight them a check so that I could make my law school ap deadline.

So yeah, been there!

Date: 2005-02-07 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearlesstemp.livejournal.com
What is UP with evil university libraries? Yours especially - a hold for five dollars?! Mine was a shameful chunk of change, so I could kind of understand. But five bucks?

And I can't imagine the stress of trying to overnight and beat a deadline - glad it all worked out!

Dear Miss Nancy Negativity,

Date: 2005-02-12 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxyfrau.livejournal.com
Remember Pissy Paul? I think Nancy Negativity was the one we were searching for all along, but Pissy P. has certain nuances that N.N. just can't touch, I think. Either way, if you ever find one of them among your bogus registrations, just let 'em slide. Beacause I personally find alliteration very cool.

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