all this and standardized testing too
Nov. 17th, 2004 04:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fearlesstempI am at peak performance here. A few notes from the last couple of days.
-Monday I had another tutoring session with R., which went very well. I also spoke to his supervisor on my lunch break, which went as well as it could have given the circumstances – everywhere I eat lunch feels compelled to pump their establishments full of easy listening or classic rock music at top volume, which makes it challenging to have any kind of conversation. Add in a bunch of fellow lunch eaters and questionable cell phone reception, and you've got a recipe for fun!
The conversation actually went fine. She assured me they had realistic expectations, etc etc. "As I said to D., thirty sight words or so," she said.
Which kind of makes me want to kill D., the local literacy volunteer organizer, because when I talked to her last week and asked if she'd spoken to the company about expectations, she was all vague and brushed me off. She said, "Why don't you just call her?"
I was sitting on a park bench in sub-freezing temperatures at the time (the place where I'd been having lunch had awful reception for my phone, so I had to abandon my salad half-eaten to go outside and call her back), and it took everything in me not to snarl, "I don't know, maybe because you get paid for things like that?"
Okay, so it didn't take everything in me not to do that – I'm a wimp. I would never do anything like that. Also, you know, I signed up for this, etc etc. But I signed up for tutoring! Not navigating the dangerous waters of a strange company's HR office and employment policies!
And so I just said, "Sure! Fine! I'll get right on that!"
Tutoring itself went fabulous, which was good because last week was a tough one – he seemed to have forgotten everything we'd worked on. But this week, it all came back and more. He knew the "ch" sound. It was thrilling.
-File under Nightmares Do Come True: Yesterday I got into work, got my Mets Mug o' H2O, and settled in to check my e-mail (how I start every day). Was in the middle of typing in the web address for my e-mail when the phone rang and I answered, quite naturally, "Aolmail – dot – aol – dot - com." Five seconds of confused silence later I realized what I'd done and said, in my best I'm A Professional, No Really Voice, "I'm sorry, please excuse me. All Irish Law Firm, can I help you?"
I wanted to die.
-I almost cried in Target when they did not have The Office Christmas Special in stock. But then I bought popcorn and read an awesome story and felt better, which was good, because at my next stop (WalMart Supercenter; I was all about the big box stores last night), I had the following conversation with my mother, the one, the only, Peg of the Cautionary Tale.
Self: So, you want me to get you Turkey Tetrazinni?
Mom Unit: If they -- wait. It's dark out.
Self: …Yes.
MU: Don't go. Just come home. I'll have noodles with butter. There are crazy people out there! Remember, that girl --
Self: Mom, it's fine! There are a ton of people around, I'll be just fine.
MU: Be careful.
Self: Hmm, I was planning on wandering around aimlessly with my eyes closed, fists full of money, to the darkest areas of the parking lot, but if you –
MU: JESSICA
Self: I'll be careful!
MU: Don't get kidnapped!
Self: Right right, don't get kidnapped and bring home Turkey Tetrazinni.
So a few minutes later, when I was walking through the dark parking lot, remembering all of the scary stock footage I've seen of girls getting snatched from parking lots, and a big green SUV came to a sudden stop right next to me, I kind of had a heart attack.
Self: AAAH!
Michelle: Jess?
S: Oh! Hi! Michelle! And Meg! Hi!
Michelle and Meg: Hi! You all right?
S: Fine, fine, just, you know, thought you were a scary kidnapper.
MaM: . . . oh.
S: My mother – I was on the – never mind. Long story. Walk in together?
And we did. Meg had little Abigail with her, so I got to coo and poke at her little covered-in-winterwear-belly, and talk like an idiot. All that good stuff. We did the high-pitched-girltalk thing, argued over who had lost weight ("You!" "No, you!"), when most likely none of us had, and then parted ways in produce because I had to get to my next destination pretty quickly.
-Speaking of: My next destination was my grandfather's nursing home, where I came upon him already snoozing. The woman at the desk told me to wake him up, and he seemed happy that I did. It kind of blows my mind that anyone would be happy to be woken up, but I suppose this is one circumstance where even I would be glad.
We talked about exciting nursing home happenings (he's changed lunch tables, and the other day got sick at breakfast. "I flashed the hash," he said, and then, just to make sure I understood, added, "That means I vomited."), his recent doctor's appointment ("I am bigoted against the Jews," he said, in a reflective, kind of apologetic way. "Not that I'd ever admit it. But I liked him."), and Thanksgiving ("Where am I going, again?").
The last two times I've visited he's complimented my alabaster skin and dark hair, which was nice, but sufficiently romance-novel-sounding to feel kind of weird. I know he didn't mean it that way; he's just one of those people who won't say in three words what he can say in seven. This time, no such compliments. But he did, as always, call me Curlyhead.
-This morning I slept until exactly five minutes before I'm supposed to leave the house if I want to be on time for work. The awesome ending to this would be to reveal that I got here showered, well-coiffed, snazzily dressed, and on-time. There is no awesome ending. I didn't get to shower, threw some gel in my hair, put on a default easy outfit (complete with clunky clogs), and arrived fifteen minutes late. Note: I usually arrive ten minutes late. So to be just five minutes later after sleeping a half hour late? Not too bad!
And yes, you did that math right – I do get up a half hour before I'm supposed to leave for work. No, I can't get ready for work in a half hour. Yes, that is a problem.
Because of the oversleeping, all day I've felt kind of disconnected from the world. This has done wonders for my work performance. Ten bucks says I'm asked not to come back at the end of the day. I won't come back tomorrow, at the very least: it is the day of THE DREADED GREs. They warrant all caps.
It's a good thing I don't have a three-hour pointless literacy volunteers meeting tonight! Oh wait, I do. Oh well. I will do well or I will do poorly. All I can do is ride the rest of it out.
And possibly sneak glances at my GRE prep book during the meeting.
-Monday I had another tutoring session with R., which went very well. I also spoke to his supervisor on my lunch break, which went as well as it could have given the circumstances – everywhere I eat lunch feels compelled to pump their establishments full of easy listening or classic rock music at top volume, which makes it challenging to have any kind of conversation. Add in a bunch of fellow lunch eaters and questionable cell phone reception, and you've got a recipe for fun!
The conversation actually went fine. She assured me they had realistic expectations, etc etc. "As I said to D., thirty sight words or so," she said.
Which kind of makes me want to kill D., the local literacy volunteer organizer, because when I talked to her last week and asked if she'd spoken to the company about expectations, she was all vague and brushed me off. She said, "Why don't you just call her?"
I was sitting on a park bench in sub-freezing temperatures at the time (the place where I'd been having lunch had awful reception for my phone, so I had to abandon my salad half-eaten to go outside and call her back), and it took everything in me not to snarl, "I don't know, maybe because you get paid for things like that?"
Okay, so it didn't take everything in me not to do that – I'm a wimp. I would never do anything like that. Also, you know, I signed up for this, etc etc. But I signed up for tutoring! Not navigating the dangerous waters of a strange company's HR office and employment policies!
And so I just said, "Sure! Fine! I'll get right on that!"
Tutoring itself went fabulous, which was good because last week was a tough one – he seemed to have forgotten everything we'd worked on. But this week, it all came back and more. He knew the "ch" sound. It was thrilling.
-File under Nightmares Do Come True: Yesterday I got into work, got my Mets Mug o' H2O, and settled in to check my e-mail (how I start every day). Was in the middle of typing in the web address for my e-mail when the phone rang and I answered, quite naturally, "Aolmail – dot – aol – dot - com." Five seconds of confused silence later I realized what I'd done and said, in my best I'm A Professional, No Really Voice, "I'm sorry, please excuse me. All Irish Law Firm, can I help you?"
I wanted to die.
-I almost cried in Target when they did not have The Office Christmas Special in stock. But then I bought popcorn and read an awesome story and felt better, which was good, because at my next stop (WalMart Supercenter; I was all about the big box stores last night), I had the following conversation with my mother, the one, the only, Peg of the Cautionary Tale.
Self: So, you want me to get you Turkey Tetrazinni?
Mom Unit: If they -- wait. It's dark out.
Self: …Yes.
MU: Don't go. Just come home. I'll have noodles with butter. There are crazy people out there! Remember, that girl --
Self: Mom, it's fine! There are a ton of people around, I'll be just fine.
MU: Be careful.
Self: Hmm, I was planning on wandering around aimlessly with my eyes closed, fists full of money, to the darkest areas of the parking lot, but if you –
MU: JESSICA
Self: I'll be careful!
MU: Don't get kidnapped!
Self: Right right, don't get kidnapped and bring home Turkey Tetrazinni.
So a few minutes later, when I was walking through the dark parking lot, remembering all of the scary stock footage I've seen of girls getting snatched from parking lots, and a big green SUV came to a sudden stop right next to me, I kind of had a heart attack.
Self: AAAH!
Michelle: Jess?
S: Oh! Hi! Michelle! And Meg! Hi!
Michelle and Meg: Hi! You all right?
S: Fine, fine, just, you know, thought you were a scary kidnapper.
MaM: . . . oh.
S: My mother – I was on the – never mind. Long story. Walk in together?
And we did. Meg had little Abigail with her, so I got to coo and poke at her little covered-in-winterwear-belly, and talk like an idiot. All that good stuff. We did the high-pitched-girltalk thing, argued over who had lost weight ("You!" "No, you!"), when most likely none of us had, and then parted ways in produce because I had to get to my next destination pretty quickly.
-Speaking of: My next destination was my grandfather's nursing home, where I came upon him already snoozing. The woman at the desk told me to wake him up, and he seemed happy that I did. It kind of blows my mind that anyone would be happy to be woken up, but I suppose this is one circumstance where even I would be glad.
We talked about exciting nursing home happenings (he's changed lunch tables, and the other day got sick at breakfast. "I flashed the hash," he said, and then, just to make sure I understood, added, "That means I vomited."), his recent doctor's appointment ("I am bigoted against the Jews," he said, in a reflective, kind of apologetic way. "Not that I'd ever admit it. But I liked him."), and Thanksgiving ("Where am I going, again?").
The last two times I've visited he's complimented my alabaster skin and dark hair, which was nice, but sufficiently romance-novel-sounding to feel kind of weird. I know he didn't mean it that way; he's just one of those people who won't say in three words what he can say in seven. This time, no such compliments. But he did, as always, call me Curlyhead.
-This morning I slept until exactly five minutes before I'm supposed to leave the house if I want to be on time for work. The awesome ending to this would be to reveal that I got here showered, well-coiffed, snazzily dressed, and on-time. There is no awesome ending. I didn't get to shower, threw some gel in my hair, put on a default easy outfit (complete with clunky clogs), and arrived fifteen minutes late. Note: I usually arrive ten minutes late. So to be just five minutes later after sleeping a half hour late? Not too bad!
And yes, you did that math right – I do get up a half hour before I'm supposed to leave for work. No, I can't get ready for work in a half hour. Yes, that is a problem.
Because of the oversleeping, all day I've felt kind of disconnected from the world. This has done wonders for my work performance. Ten bucks says I'm asked not to come back at the end of the day. I won't come back tomorrow, at the very least: it is the day of THE DREADED GREs. They warrant all caps.
It's a good thing I don't have a three-hour pointless literacy volunteers meeting tonight! Oh wait, I do. Oh well. I will do well or I will do poorly. All I can do is ride the rest of it out.
And possibly sneak glances at my GRE prep book during the meeting.
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 01:49 pm (UTC)Thanks for the laugh. As always, your misadventures (also known as life) are endlessly entertaining to me. :) {{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-20 12:14 pm (UTC)The scary part of the mom conversation thing is that as I get older, I catch myself having similar conversations with people, except now I start taking on my mother's side. Just the other night I found myself warning a college student about the importance of not walking home alone at night, and taking advantage of the campus escort, etc etc.
I have become my mother! It's SCARY!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 01:52 pm (UTC)b) hey, it totally only takes me 25 minutes to get ready in the morning, including shower. This is because I have a HIGHLY EVOLVED system, because I like to sleep late. Thus, I:
(okay, lately I've been getting up to run, but it's an aberation, I promise)
7-8: running
8:05, return (inevitably leave late for running.)
8:05-8:13: shower.
8:13-14: pawing at hair, moisturizer.
8:14-16: where is my underwear! WHERE! DAMNIT!
8:16-8:21: dressing, talking with the Bandit, who's all "muzzuwhat? hmfumble?"
8:21-25: more hair, tinted moisturizer, earrings.
8:25-8:28: coat, hat, badge, book, shoes.
8:29: the bandit: "gramr? have a good dayagg,ggrrr."
8:30: out the door!
see, you too can be awesome like me. You have to be a fast showerer, though. Also, I only wash my hair at night, because it takes hours to dry anyhow, and I don't feel like having wet hair at work.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 12:33 am (UTC)(b) DUDE. I want to be awesome like you! But for now I am just in awe of your morning schedule. My big downfall is def. the shower (though really, am slow and lazy at every turn). Every morning I tell myself that I have to be strict! Fast! Just shampoo, condition, wash, go! But every morning I end up standing under the spray staring at the wall for about ten minutes because it's so COLD now, and I don't WANT to go to work, etc etc.
I should just wash my hair at night. That would cut down on shower time AND hair drying time. They totally eat up my AM prep time.
My morning schedule is typically this:
6:33 - Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
7:27 - Hit snooze for last time. Turn off alarm, stumble out of bed.
7:29 - Arrive in bathroom. Shower, brush teeth, insert contacts, go through tedious skin care ritual.
7:54 - Go back to bedroom just in time to see last few minutes of All My Children, comb hair, and look for stockings/tights (existence of functional pair of these determines rest of outfit).
7:57 - Comb hair, decide on outfit. Yell downstairs to parental units to put a Diet Pepsi in the freezer for me. Dress.
8:02 - Race downstairs, muttering obscenities as should have left TWO MINUTES AGO but HAVE NOT and WILL BE LATE, AGAIN.
8:03 - Go outside, start car.
8:04 - Run inside, apply makeup (tinted foundation/sunscreen stuff, concealer, powdery stuff to minimize shine on my MASSIVE WHITE FOREHEAD. Curl eyelashes and put on blush if I'm feeling particularly motivated).
8:08 - Dry hair
8:12 - Put producty stuff in half-dry hair and shake head upside down a lot, hope for the best.
8:13 - Run into hallway, search for shoes. Retrieve Diet Pepsi from freezer, granola bars from cabinet, put coat on.
8:14 - Inevitably realize have forgotten or misplaced something. Often I freak out over having LOST my KEYS, when actually they're outside in the car warming up.
8:17 - Roll out of driveway.
And then I stroll into work at 8:39 or so if I don't hit brutal traffic, when I'm supposed to be there at 8:30. Every morning I cringe and hate myself and am positive they're going to yell at me. Every morning I sneak my coat into the closet and slide into my chair and think Tomorrow I'm Getting Up Early, No Really, I Am but I DON'T! Why? I don't understand!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 04:49 pm (UTC)I want a full report, as I will have to take them eventually if I ever want to go back to school (which I do), and, um, teaching third grade math was HARD. Therefore, I'm not that confident about GRE math.
Reading comprehension, though? I can only hope to rock that. Well, except that I totally overthink things, which is where I get myself into trouble.
And I'm glad to hear that the tutoring is going well. Sight words are good! He can definitely get to thirty, no problem, I would think. Are they basic words or job related? Okay, I'll stop being a literacy geek now. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-11-21 12:38 am (UTC)And dude, don't let my math talk make you anxious -- I'd forgotten a lot of basic 3rd grade stuff, I think, based on my initial prep test results. I'm sure you'll get right back into it!
I'm sure you'll rock the reading comprehension, too. :)
Sight words are good! He can definitely get to thirty, no problem, I would think. Are they basic words or job related? Okay, I'll stop being a literacy geek now. :)
Don't stop! You know so much about this stuff, unlike me. :) The company didn't give him a list of words to learn, and they told me that they weren't going to test him off of some list -- they're just going to want to read the progress report I file in January. So I'll be coming up with the sight words, I guess, along with Ralph. Right now we're working on some of the work instructions he brought in last week, and trying to pull words off of that. I'm trying to get as many work-related ones in there as I can. There's just so much to do! It's kind of overwhelming, but one step at a time, etc etc, all that jazz.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-19 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-19 06:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-19 06:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-19 08:56 am (UTC)