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fearlesstempThe latest step in the continuing saga of Get Jess Fit! aka Okay, Get Jess A Bit Less Flabby! is tennis, which has always been one of my favorite sports because you don't have to run far. Soccer is my least favorite sport because you have to run ALL THE TIME and most of the time it's REALLY FAR. Which is why the highest compliment I can pay the truly fab movie Bend It Like Beckham is that it actually made me want to play soccer. Not that I did. I'm not crazy!
Anyway! Tennis! Have started playing again, and while it is fun, it's also annoying because my game (what little I ever had) is totally GONE, man. I remember being good! Okay, I remember being adequate! And I so totally suck now.
It did not help me at all yesterday when these three semi-buff guys in shorts and wifebeaters strolled onto the field right next to the tennis courts and started stretching and stuff. And then! All of a sudden! One of them stood up and did a STANDING BACK FLIP. I totally did a double-take and let one of my brother's good-but-not-ace serves fly by me and thus began my backlide from suckiness to extreme suckiness for the rest of the night because seriously, who can focus on tennis when there are three guys clapping and flipping and doing handsprings in unison fifty feet to your right? It was so funny! And oddly magnetic! They were so totally into it and really quite good, though I was terrified one of them was going to land on his head and suffer a catastrophic injury. Which just goes to show that the neurotic worrywart nature my mother worked so hard to instill in me is up and running even when I'm admiring fit male cheerleaders doing their thang.
In other news: Tonight went out to dinner with the 'rents and ended up sitting next to these five people utterly devoid of class who ate their entire meal and then proceeded, at the end of it, to bitch the waitress out and then call the manager over all "The ribs were too rare! And the wait was too long! And blah blah blah we're evil cheap bastards blah blah blah" until they agreed to take items off their check. And then when the manager left they all started laughing together over how they'd totally fooled the restaurant and gotten so much money knocked off the bill. It was so awful! What sucky, evil people! We all fired up our dirtiest averted glances and shot them at the table several times until they left. Because, I don't know. That behavior just really bothers me. I mean, sure, if food is bad or undercooked or whatever, you shouldn't have to pay for it, but, also, if you wouldn't pay for it, then you SHOULDN'T EAT IT. Call me a crazy moralistic bastard, but those are just the rules I live by. And since I'm Boss of the World, everyone else should live by them too. Or face my scornful averted glances. That'll show 'em!
Anyway! Tennis! Have started playing again, and while it is fun, it's also annoying because my game (what little I ever had) is totally GONE, man. I remember being good! Okay, I remember being adequate! And I so totally suck now.
It did not help me at all yesterday when these three semi-buff guys in shorts and wifebeaters strolled onto the field right next to the tennis courts and started stretching and stuff. And then! All of a sudden! One of them stood up and did a STANDING BACK FLIP. I totally did a double-take and let one of my brother's good-but-not-ace serves fly by me and thus began my backlide from suckiness to extreme suckiness for the rest of the night because seriously, who can focus on tennis when there are three guys clapping and flipping and doing handsprings in unison fifty feet to your right? It was so funny! And oddly magnetic! They were so totally into it and really quite good, though I was terrified one of them was going to land on his head and suffer a catastrophic injury. Which just goes to show that the neurotic worrywart nature my mother worked so hard to instill in me is up and running even when I'm admiring fit male cheerleaders doing their thang.
In other news: Tonight went out to dinner with the 'rents and ended up sitting next to these five people utterly devoid of class who ate their entire meal and then proceeded, at the end of it, to bitch the waitress out and then call the manager over all "The ribs were too rare! And the wait was too long! And blah blah blah we're evil cheap bastards blah blah blah" until they agreed to take items off their check. And then when the manager left they all started laughing together over how they'd totally fooled the restaurant and gotten so much money knocked off the bill. It was so awful! What sucky, evil people! We all fired up our dirtiest averted glances and shot them at the table several times until they left. Because, I don't know. That behavior just really bothers me. I mean, sure, if food is bad or undercooked or whatever, you shouldn't have to pay for it, but, also, if you wouldn't pay for it, then you SHOULDN'T EAT IT. Call me a crazy moralistic bastard, but those are just the rules I live by. And since I'm Boss of the World, everyone else should live by them too. Or face my scornful averted glances. That'll show 'em!
