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fearlesstempAnd now I give you the LJ cut to use if you so desire because I know I'm always curious about people's years in review, but then again I'm insatiably curious about EVERYTHING and have to face the fact that not everyone else is the same way.
I know my homie Anna will be sad to see it go.
I looked back at my Obligatory Introspective Post of the New Year from 2002 to see what I said and here's what I found:
Anyway! 2001 was a good year. But not because of any big accomplishments, because there weren't any. But mainly because I got to the end of it with my family intact and functional, friends who know the real me and like me anyway, and a reliable internet connection.
What more could one ask for?
Not much, I think.
Ah. I read that today and oh, it got me because last year about this time I didn't know that the whole family intact thing was so tenuous. Which is not to say my family is broken now so much as one member is absent, and so the unit's forever changed. It's different, still functional, and I'm grateful for that because it's more than so many people get.
My grandfather died in April and the thing that I remember about it is how it was a slow surprise, because the doctors always said it wasn't serious until one day it was and no one ever actually said he was dying so much as we all started preparing for it. And then he was gone.
Anyway. I keep trying to write more about it but it ends up being long and depressing and screw it. He died, I'm sad. And grateful for all the kindnesses people showed me during that time. A lot of them people may not realize being a part of: Like, in the campus center, my first day back at school, seeing a person I work with across the room and how he just smiled, and nodded, and looked sad. My boss at work letting me sit there and cry that first day and letting me go be with my grandmother. My cousin Emma making me laugh that same day by asking me to build cookie sculptures with her in my grandmother's kitchen. My aunt Robin calling me a week before he died, telling me she was thinking of me and all of us cousins because she knew it must be hard on us and that there still could be a miracle, who knew? Getting an email from Fred the Perfect Man, another guy I worked with, who was French-Canadian, spoke four languages, had the whole brown hair/blue eyes thing going on, was intelligent, the whole nine, who I used to really focus on not drooling over at work -- after it happened, saying he was sorry for my loss and that he understood how difficult it was because he had lost his grandfather recently as well. The girl I referred to as Crazy Jess so often sending me a sweet sympathy card in the mail. How understanding my professors were. Anna sitting with me in the campus center and letting me rave like a lunatic. Several times. And on the phone. And, well, all the time. Annie doing the same, staying up late at night talking to me, bringing me fic to read when I really needed it. Kaelie sitting with my boring, depressed ass on the IM, letting me go on and on and listening. Everyone who expressed their sympathies. Basically, you know, people can be really kind. I'm grateful for that.
No more death talk! None! None whatsoever!
Other 2002 events: I graduated from college! And still have no idea what I'm doing. But: it's ok. I'm happy. I survived living with the roommate from Hell, went to ORLANDO and saw NSYNC play basketball and met the infamous Kaelie, saw NSYNC in concert, went to New York City all by myself and met up with three of the coolest chicks around, had some fun, wrote a thesis I'm mostly proud of, discovered the joys of Harry Potter, and lots of other stuff.
Basically, I'm a happy girl, for the most part, and, well, a professor of mine once said that Martin Luther King believed that there was a long arc to the universe that bent toward justice. I like to think that there's a long arc to my life that bends toward happiness. Ha! How cheesy and lame! I can't help it. I am cheesy and lame. I'm ok with myself, have just enough self-loathing to keep things interesting and motivate myself to be a better person.
Which is my goal for 2003, to be a better person. My favorite kind of New Year's Resolution: vague, and easy to rationalize out of come 2004. I know, I am so very lame.
Ok, I should have concrete ones. I can't be completely lame. Other resolutions:
(1) To become JC Chasez's girlfriend.
Ha! Just kidding.
(1) To become Nathan Fillion's girlfriend.
Still kidding! Now, down to business.
(1) Get paid for writing something in some way, shape, or form.
(2) Volunteer somewhere. Contribute to the greater good in some way, shape or form.
(3) Donate blood more regularly. In that vein (ha! punny!), remember to take iron.
(4) Try to cure lame addiction to puns.
(5) Return library books on time. Well, no more than a week late. Well, at least pay the fines within the year, not three years later as you have been known to do. It is not good to have a library system mad at you. The librarians are a powerful force.
(6) Remember that you have TWO WEDDINGS you have to be in over the summer and at least try to do something to get in better shape, if only so you don't collapse on the dance floor mid-way through Enrique Iglesias's Escape or something.
(7) Conduct an investigation to find out why, exactly, Enrique Iglesias's Escape is one of your favorite songs of all time. Is subliminal messaging involved?
(8) Watch Citizen Kane because you feel like a lame classic cinema fan for not having done so already. And no, renting it and forgetting to watch it and later paying ten dollars in late fees does NOT COUNT. You've been down that road before. Twice.
(9) Worry less about making The Right Choice and focus more on Actually Making Choices. Take more risks! Be brave! Be friendlier! Stop worrying that everyone can see your dorkiness! People can't tell on first sight that you have Star Trek stationery at home with your name and address on it! Well, unless you carry it around with you, which you should never, ever do.
(10) Have fun.
And also: I heart all of you! Everyone on friends list, which I read obsessively. You're all interesting and I'd list special things about each of you but it's late and I'm tired. And if there are people reading this not on my friends list, then hi! What a pleasant surprise! If you've shown the good taste to check out my LJ, then I'm sure I heart you as well.
And above and beyond everything else, I heart you, JC Chasez, who regularly Blows Me Up (With His Love).
I know my homie Anna will be sad to see it go.
I looked back at my Obligatory Introspective Post of the New Year from 2002 to see what I said and here's what I found:
Anyway! 2001 was a good year. But not because of any big accomplishments, because there weren't any. But mainly because I got to the end of it with my family intact and functional, friends who know the real me and like me anyway, and a reliable internet connection.
What more could one ask for?
Not much, I think.
Ah. I read that today and oh, it got me because last year about this time I didn't know that the whole family intact thing was so tenuous. Which is not to say my family is broken now so much as one member is absent, and so the unit's forever changed. It's different, still functional, and I'm grateful for that because it's more than so many people get.
My grandfather died in April and the thing that I remember about it is how it was a slow surprise, because the doctors always said it wasn't serious until one day it was and no one ever actually said he was dying so much as we all started preparing for it. And then he was gone.
Anyway. I keep trying to write more about it but it ends up being long and depressing and screw it. He died, I'm sad. And grateful for all the kindnesses people showed me during that time. A lot of them people may not realize being a part of: Like, in the campus center, my first day back at school, seeing a person I work with across the room and how he just smiled, and nodded, and looked sad. My boss at work letting me sit there and cry that first day and letting me go be with my grandmother. My cousin Emma making me laugh that same day by asking me to build cookie sculptures with her in my grandmother's kitchen. My aunt Robin calling me a week before he died, telling me she was thinking of me and all of us cousins because she knew it must be hard on us and that there still could be a miracle, who knew? Getting an email from Fred the Perfect Man, another guy I worked with, who was French-Canadian, spoke four languages, had the whole brown hair/blue eyes thing going on, was intelligent, the whole nine, who I used to really focus on not drooling over at work -- after it happened, saying he was sorry for my loss and that he understood how difficult it was because he had lost his grandfather recently as well. The girl I referred to as Crazy Jess so often sending me a sweet sympathy card in the mail. How understanding my professors were. Anna sitting with me in the campus center and letting me rave like a lunatic. Several times. And on the phone. And, well, all the time. Annie doing the same, staying up late at night talking to me, bringing me fic to read when I really needed it. Kaelie sitting with my boring, depressed ass on the IM, letting me go on and on and listening. Everyone who expressed their sympathies. Basically, you know, people can be really kind. I'm grateful for that.
No more death talk! None! None whatsoever!
Other 2002 events: I graduated from college! And still have no idea what I'm doing. But: it's ok. I'm happy. I survived living with the roommate from Hell, went to ORLANDO and saw NSYNC play basketball and met the infamous Kaelie, saw NSYNC in concert, went to New York City all by myself and met up with three of the coolest chicks around, had some fun, wrote a thesis I'm mostly proud of, discovered the joys of Harry Potter, and lots of other stuff.
Basically, I'm a happy girl, for the most part, and, well, a professor of mine once said that Martin Luther King believed that there was a long arc to the universe that bent toward justice. I like to think that there's a long arc to my life that bends toward happiness. Ha! How cheesy and lame! I can't help it. I am cheesy and lame. I'm ok with myself, have just enough self-loathing to keep things interesting and motivate myself to be a better person.
Which is my goal for 2003, to be a better person. My favorite kind of New Year's Resolution: vague, and easy to rationalize out of come 2004. I know, I am so very lame.
Ok, I should have concrete ones. I can't be completely lame. Other resolutions:
(1) To become JC Chasez's girlfriend.
Ha! Just kidding.
(1) To become Nathan Fillion's girlfriend.
Still kidding! Now, down to business.
(1) Get paid for writing something in some way, shape, or form.
(2) Volunteer somewhere. Contribute to the greater good in some way, shape or form.
(3) Donate blood more regularly. In that vein (ha! punny!), remember to take iron.
(4) Try to cure lame addiction to puns.
(5) Return library books on time. Well, no more than a week late. Well, at least pay the fines within the year, not three years later as you have been known to do. It is not good to have a library system mad at you. The librarians are a powerful force.
(6) Remember that you have TWO WEDDINGS you have to be in over the summer and at least try to do something to get in better shape, if only so you don't collapse on the dance floor mid-way through Enrique Iglesias's Escape or something.
(7) Conduct an investigation to find out why, exactly, Enrique Iglesias's Escape is one of your favorite songs of all time. Is subliminal messaging involved?
(8) Watch Citizen Kane because you feel like a lame classic cinema fan for not having done so already. And no, renting it and forgetting to watch it and later paying ten dollars in late fees does NOT COUNT. You've been down that road before. Twice.
(9) Worry less about making The Right Choice and focus more on Actually Making Choices. Take more risks! Be brave! Be friendlier! Stop worrying that everyone can see your dorkiness! People can't tell on first sight that you have Star Trek stationery at home with your name and address on it! Well, unless you carry it around with you, which you should never, ever do.
(10) Have fun.
And also: I heart all of you! Everyone on friends list, which I read obsessively. You're all interesting and I'd list special things about each of you but it's late and I'm tired. And if there are people reading this not on my friends list, then hi! What a pleasant surprise! If you've shown the good taste to check out my LJ, then I'm sure I heart you as well.
And above and beyond everything else, I heart you, JC Chasez, who regularly Blows Me Up (With His Love).
