a day in the life

[fearlesstemp]

8:23AM--Alarm goes off. Remember that today is the day I'm Not Going To Be Late For Class, Goddammit!

8:23AM--Hit snooze.

8:59AM--Roll over, check clock, have minor heart attack. Must have hit the snooze button three times without realizing it, as usual.

9:02AM--Pull on jeans, hop around room looking for sweatshirt, say silent Dear God, Please Let The Bathroom Be Roommate Free prayer.

9:03AM--Prayers are answered.

9:08AM--Teeth brushed, face washed, race around room looking for brush to complete the bare minimum Jess Maintenance engaged in every Tuesday and Thursday.

9:09AM--Brush still unfound. Fail to engage in even the bare minimum Jess Maintenance and throw hair back into the messiest of messy ponytails without brushing it.

9:10AM--Engage in ritual Shoe Hunt.

9:11AM--Successful! Race to class.

9:12AM--Except not really. Meander to class.

9:18AM--Walk into class late, feel stupid. Decide next Tuesday will the the day I'm Not Going To Be Late For Class, Goddammit!

10:30AM--Blessed five minute break. Buy cappuccino in campus center. Contemplate leaving class and never going back. I could, after all, fall back on the plan [Anna] and I came up with the other night over IM -- drop out of school and start a rock band. We would perform acoustic versions of NSYNC songs and choreographed, two-step versions of Pearl Jam songs. I'd be N Jam, [Anna] would be Pearl Sync.

10:33AM--Come thisclose to calling Pearl Sync and giving up the diploma.

10:34AM--Regain senses, return to class.

11:05AM--Liberated from class. Go to Campus Center, wait for [Annie], who is in the area and dropping by with a Helen of Troy to straighten our hair.

11:25AM--Randomly run into thesis advisor. Have residual anxiety attack, my body apparently still not adjusted to the fact that Da Thesis is done and therefore there is no reason to fear Professor F. any more.

11:50AM--[Annie] arrives, all apologetic and half-dead from running across campus. Can tell she feels bad for being late. Honestly don't mind because I'm usually the one racing to meet people and it's rather nice to be on the other side of a late arrival.

12:30PM--Go to apartment with lunch. Eat, watch tape of Buffy, then Helen our hair.

2:20PM--Decide we both look bitchin with Helened hair. Remember I have to go to work. Forget to care.

2:30PM--Am supposed to be at work. Still with the not caring. Decide that Annie must hear Ewan singing Your Song from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack before she leaves.

2:35PM--Decide Annie has to hear the version of Roxanne on it too.

2:40PM--Finally leave for work. Decide Annie looks like a seventies porn star with her Helened hair and that my Helened hair looks excellent with my glasses.

2:45PM--Arrive at work. Begin silent Please, Dear God, Let My Tutee Have Forgotten Our Appointment.

3:00PM--No luck. ESL shows up. We discuss wedding practices in America, the differences between can and could and then, after that, the differences between can, could, and be able to. Never feel the desire to ram head into table. Call it a good session.

4:00PM--Session over on time. Work on paper due this past Monday.

4:03PM--Am already at Television Without Pity's message boards reading about fan reaction to Gilmore Girls. Cannot believe people do not think Jess and Rory are mfeo. Hello! They so are! Though I feel bad for Dean. Again contemplate the possibility that I could marry someone with my name, like my friend in high school whose parents were named Pat and Pat, which made fielding phone calls very complicated.

4:23PM--Consumed with self-loathing. Realize I must finish the paper. There is No Other Option. Declare that I will be done at five.

5:18PM--Print out paper without reading it over. Race over to Humanities.

5:21PM--Run into old English professor. Have awkward exchange where I know he feels bad for not remembering my name and I feel bad that he feels bad and want to tell him it's ok, but that would be weird, and so I just grab my book and run as quickly as possible.

5:30PM--Arrive home. Have to go home tonight because am leaving from there tomorrow morning, going to the Cape for the weekend to baby-sit. The Plan: Laundry! Pack! Outta here by 7:15!

5:32PM--Go online. Sit there for forty minutes.

6:08PM--Curse self. The Plan must be altered now. Go throw laundry in. Decide I Must Pack Now.

6:14PM--Decide to talk on the phone instead.

6:40PM--Get off phone. Put clothes in dryer. Declare I Must Pack Now!

6:42PM--Decide to make popcorn.

7:15PM--Popcorn consumed. Now it's really packing time.

7:20PM--Surf LJ instead.

7:30PM--Internal debate that has been brewing all day finally resolved: gather up quarters, dimes, dollar bills and take off for the closest bookstore to, yes, buy the original volume of The Princess Diaries.

7:35PM--Realize what I'm doing en route. Driving! To the bookstore! To buy a young adult novel! When I should be packing!

7:36PM--Actively not care.

7:58PM--Arrive back at apartment just in time for Friends finale.

9:00PM--OMG! The finale! OMG!

9:02PM--Should pack. Decide to go on LJ instead and blow forty-five minutes typing up my day.

9:50PM--And so here we are. Have to drive home tonight. Have to get things together. Must do this now!

Really!

Really really!

Comments

[artemis69.livejournal.com]

Thank you for painting such a decent picture of my Horribly Late Arrival. I suck.

DUDE!

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

You so don't suck!

You do realize that you'd have to leave me alone in the Arctic wilderness for like a month and a half to even out our friendship's cosmic lateness score, considering my history of horribly late arrivals.

Jess