U.C.S.

[fearlesstemp]

Date: February 9, 2006

Time: 6:00 PM

Event: Unidentified Cat Sighting

So, I was sitting there in the recliner, eating frozen yogurt out of the cardboard pint container, as I have been known to do, thoroughly enjoying the last five minutes of a particularly excellent episode of Seinfeld ("A George divided against itself CANNOT stand!"), when what do I see mosey across the kitchen, not twenty feet away from my spot in the recliner?

A HUGE BLACK CAT!

Now, you may be asking yourself, why is this significant? After all, my LJ formula would probably be something like:

40% Complaints About School/Work
25% Cat Talk
20% Random Family Stories
14% Jibbering About TV/Movies
1% Actual Insight

I talk about my cats a lot. But! THIS WAS NOT ONE OF OUR CATS! This was (is!) a totally random, additional, heretofore UNKNOWN member of our household!

He ran into the basement before I could catch him, and I found myself standing at the top of the stairs, staring into the darkness of the basement, wondering: Did this really just happen? Did it? WTF?

Within about ninety seconds, I had completely convinced myself that I was hallucinating (I so would not stand up under any of those psychological tests where they show a group of people a square, and everyone says it's a circle, and they measure how long it takes the lone non-experiment-participant to cave in and say it's a circle too. I am nothing like Jean Luc "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" Picard, in other words). I called my father on his private line just in case, and had the following conversation:

Dad Unit: HELLO.

Self: Uh, hi, Dad. Can you talk?

DU: YES.

Self: Did you, say, let any cats in the house today? Any additional cats? Say, a black cat?

DU: A black cat?

Self: I could swear I just saw him in the kitchen, but I thought maybe I was just imagining -

DU: A black cat.

Self: Yes, a black cat.

DU: ...You know, I think I might have seen him too.

Self: Really? Today?

DU: Not today, a couple of days ago. In the morning. I thought I was seeing things. Also, it was dark.

Self: Oh my God, how long has he BEEN here?

DU: I don't know!

Self: They have been eating a lot of food lately.

A random black cat! Hiding out in our house! Right now, in our basement! I should go catch him, I guess, but I don't know! What if he has rabies? I know I am obsessed with rabies. Also, I don't know what to do with him! I don't want to kick him out. It's cold out there! Obviously he needs someplace warm to be!

RANDOM BLACK CAT! How long have you been here? Where are you going? Are you rabid? How the hell will I find you again? Is there an unknown point of entry to our house for cats? Is there an unknown cat army in the basement? Do they have demands? Will I be able to meet them? So many questions. So few answers.

More news as it develops. Right now: HOMEWORK!

Comments

[pink-aster.livejournal.com]

MAYBE IT'S NOT A CAT AT ALL, BUT A SMALL BLACK BEAR! AND HE'S GOING TO BECOME A FULL GROWN BLACK BEAR IN YOUR BASEMENT! AND MAKE KIBBLE OUT OF YOU ALL!

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

OMG I REALLY DON'T LIKE BEARS! I SAW ON A NATURE SPECIAL THAT THERE'S NO GOOD WAY TO ESCAPE FROM THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN CLIMB AND RUN AND SWIM AND OMG BEARS!

[glendaglamazon.livejournal.com]

I love so many things about this post, not the least of which is Cary Grant and not-Baby in your icon. :)

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

Baby is the best! BUB is seriously one of my top ten movies of all time. Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn have such excellent chemistry - I know HOliday just came out on DVD as part of a Cary Grant box set, but all I really want is Holiday! I don't want to have to buy the box set!

[popgurlie.livejournal.com]

ohmygod, i love this mystery so much! i can't wait to hear what happens next, although i am a little worried that you have a cat army in the basement. do you think they wear sharp little berets? that would worry me less, because they're probably more interested in looking stylish than attack.

Self: They have been eating a lot of food lately.

that made me truly laugh out loud.

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

The little berets comment made me laugh out loud, especially after I got a good look at the disheveled, cobweb-covered cat last night (so far, no other cats have been discovered. But I will remain vigilant! Cats are sneaky creatures!).

[evilprettykitty.livejournal.com]

Serious, this is the funnest thing I've read in a really long long time.

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

Aw, your kitty is so cute! Thanks for the comment!

[lawgeekgurl.livejournal.com]

It's a spy for the siam(byon)ese liberation army. or else, it was there before you and is patiently waiting for you to vacate.

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

OMG, he's totally a spy. Maybe for the Republicans! They tap phones, they enlist cats in their devious scemes - WILL THEY STOP AT NOTHING?!

[chicksrus.livejournal.com]

Your cats probably just brought a friend home, who's been hanging out a lot and eating your food. Huh. Kind of like humans do, no?

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

Hee, very true!

[nobodygirl.livejournal.com]

Do you think the other cats know about the random black cat? Maybe they snuck him in and were hiding him. I wonder how long he's been living there.

Make sure you keep us posted!

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

I think the other cats have been fighting with the random black cat! We've been coming home to find little tufts of black fur, but since our older cat is black and gray, we just assumed that the younger cat was antagonizing her. But now I think it was from the random black cat! Drama!