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May. 9th, 2003 12:01 amTonight my father suggested that we have Chinese food for dinner. Or, to be more accurate, he bellowed "JESS!! CHINESE??" up the stairs to me from where he was watching baseball on TV.
"What do you think?" he asked when I came downstairs. "Do you want some?"
"You mean, do I want to go drive to the Chinese restaurant and pick up your dinner and, while I'm there, maybe get something for myself?"
"Something like that," my father said. "I have your change from last night."
"I'm buying again?"
"I have seven dollars change from last night," he said, ignoring the question. "But I have two more that I keep in my wallet for emergencies."
"Two dollars for emergencies," I repeated.
"I'm not stupid," he said. "I don't walk around with nothing!"
Because we do so often run into make-or-break situations where two dollars are the deciding factor.
Anyway, so we had Chinese (FYI: Chicken with Cashews for me, Sweet and Sour Shrimp for him), and I had to go pick it up. I raced over there and arrived, as usual, ten minutes after I had said I would, and raced through the door to the restaurant realizing a second too late that I should have zipped up my coat so that portions of my sweet ensemble (black capri yoga pants, sneakers, red white & blue T-shirt, unkempt hair, etc.) would be concealed.
Friendly Counter Guy: 8:15 pickup!
Me: Yes! Right! That's me!
InternalMe: Either he's eerily psychic or we picked the wrong Chinese place. Do they only have, like, one pickup order for the night? Let's not think about this. Positive things. Like...no visible health code violations! Eyes away from the kitchen. Away. From. The kitchen. Look at the posters! I was born in the year of the monkey. Fascinating.
Friendly Counter Guy: [Unintelligible friendly banter]
Me: Um....what?
FCG: [Unintelligible friendly banter]
Me: Um...I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
InternalMe: Oh God. Please let me understand this the next time, I can't ask him to repeat something again. He's being so nice and friendly and I'm too dumb to understand people with thick accents! It is my cross to bear! I will just have to do the Pretending to Understand Nod if I can't understand again.
FCG: You just getting home from work?
Me: Yes!
InternalMe: Comprehension! Yes! Wait! I didn't just get home from work. Why did I say yes? That makes no sense. I'm not dressed to be coming home from any kind of work other than...well, any kind of work at all. Oh God. What if he asks me something else, do I have to be all "Actually, no, I wasn't coming home from work, I just said yes for no real reason at all"? Can't do that. Okay, so I was coming home from work, and if he asks me what I do, I will say...the truth. And I'm wearing this outfit because...oh! There is a gym at my office! Yes! That's it! I'm coming home from the gym at my office!
FCG: Soy sauce?
Me: I was just using the gym at -- what?
InternalMe: What?
FCG: Soy sauce?
Me: That's okay! But thanks.
How I long to live in a universe where I'm not perpetually socially awkward.
Anyway. Obligatory Work Annoyance of the Day: Someone sat at my desk while I was downstairs getting copies at Kinko's (because the copier broke this afternoon! Bastard!), and spilled coffee! Everywhere! And didn't tell me! So I sat down and went to use my hand cream and noticed all of these little wet brown splotches on it and realized that it -- and the rest of my desk -- smelled like coffee. And I don't drink coffee. So I made someone come over and smell my hand cream (am I a fun coworker or what?) and got confirmation that it was, in fact, coffee! And then I reached down to get a paperclip I dropped and there was this wad of coffee-stained Kleenex under my desk and ew! Gross!
Anyway. I have to go to bed because, you know, work tomorrow, blah blah blah, and THEN I get to go spend most of the evening helping set up for Wedding Shower No. 2. I know you're all jealous, don't worry about hiding it.
Note to self: Remember to buy baked goods (you were supposed to bake) to bring to said shower. Options include (a) Lots of delicious, expensive cookies; (b) Lots of cheap, somewhat yummy cookies; and (c) A few delicious, expensive cookies for you to eat with your friends while everyone else eats the lots of cheap, somewhat yummy cookies you bought to go with them.
Tomorrow's Friday! Wheee!
"What do you think?" he asked when I came downstairs. "Do you want some?"
"You mean, do I want to go drive to the Chinese restaurant and pick up your dinner and, while I'm there, maybe get something for myself?"
"Something like that," my father said. "I have your change from last night."
"I'm buying again?"
"I have seven dollars change from last night," he said, ignoring the question. "But I have two more that I keep in my wallet for emergencies."
"Two dollars for emergencies," I repeated.
"I'm not stupid," he said. "I don't walk around with nothing!"
Because we do so often run into make-or-break situations where two dollars are the deciding factor.
Anyway, so we had Chinese (FYI: Chicken with Cashews for me, Sweet and Sour Shrimp for him), and I had to go pick it up. I raced over there and arrived, as usual, ten minutes after I had said I would, and raced through the door to the restaurant realizing a second too late that I should have zipped up my coat so that portions of my sweet ensemble (black capri yoga pants, sneakers, red white & blue T-shirt, unkempt hair, etc.) would be concealed.
Friendly Counter Guy: 8:15 pickup!
Me: Yes! Right! That's me!
InternalMe: Either he's eerily psychic or we picked the wrong Chinese place. Do they only have, like, one pickup order for the night? Let's not think about this. Positive things. Like...no visible health code violations! Eyes away from the kitchen. Away. From. The kitchen. Look at the posters! I was born in the year of the monkey. Fascinating.
Friendly Counter Guy: [Unintelligible friendly banter]
Me: Um....what?
FCG: [Unintelligible friendly banter]
Me: Um...I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
InternalMe: Oh God. Please let me understand this the next time, I can't ask him to repeat something again. He's being so nice and friendly and I'm too dumb to understand people with thick accents! It is my cross to bear! I will just have to do the Pretending to Understand Nod if I can't understand again.
FCG: You just getting home from work?
Me: Yes!
InternalMe: Comprehension! Yes! Wait! I didn't just get home from work. Why did I say yes? That makes no sense. I'm not dressed to be coming home from any kind of work other than...well, any kind of work at all. Oh God. What if he asks me something else, do I have to be all "Actually, no, I wasn't coming home from work, I just said yes for no real reason at all"? Can't do that. Okay, so I was coming home from work, and if he asks me what I do, I will say...the truth. And I'm wearing this outfit because...oh! There is a gym at my office! Yes! That's it! I'm coming home from the gym at my office!
FCG: Soy sauce?
Me: I was just using the gym at -- what?
InternalMe: What?
FCG: Soy sauce?
Me: That's okay! But thanks.
How I long to live in a universe where I'm not perpetually socially awkward.
Anyway. Obligatory Work Annoyance of the Day: Someone sat at my desk while I was downstairs getting copies at Kinko's (because the copier broke this afternoon! Bastard!), and spilled coffee! Everywhere! And didn't tell me! So I sat down and went to use my hand cream and noticed all of these little wet brown splotches on it and realized that it -- and the rest of my desk -- smelled like coffee. And I don't drink coffee. So I made someone come over and smell my hand cream (am I a fun coworker or what?) and got confirmation that it was, in fact, coffee! And then I reached down to get a paperclip I dropped and there was this wad of coffee-stained Kleenex under my desk and ew! Gross!
Anyway. I have to go to bed because, you know, work tomorrow, blah blah blah, and THEN I get to go spend most of the evening helping set up for Wedding Shower No. 2. I know you're all jealous, don't worry about hiding it.
Note to self: Remember to buy baked goods (you were supposed to bake) to bring to said shower. Options include (a) Lots of delicious, expensive cookies; (b) Lots of cheap, somewhat yummy cookies; and (c) A few delicious, expensive cookies for you to eat with your friends while everyone else eats the lots of cheap, somewhat yummy cookies you bought to go with them.
Tomorrow's Friday! Wheee!
