![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I had a dream about MIchael Vartan wearing a tuxedo last night, which would have been fabulous had it not ended with him telling me that I smelled. !!! It was so upsetting that I think the horror of my massive BO offending Mr. Vartan caused me to wake myself up. I have had dreams where I fell off cliffs and kept the dream going, but Michael Vartan thinking I smell? That's where I draw the line.
I worry that the massive BO is not just a dream thing, as today when I was on the phone with a friend, my father walked over to me and started rubbing a perfume insert all over my shoulder and hair. Now whenever I turn my head I get a massive whiff of some Calvin Klein scent. It's kind of disconcerting.
I swear I don't smell. Or I hope I don't. I bathe regularly and am a faithful user of both deodorant AND cheap body spray/perfume.
Today there was an unexpected boon of girlie movies on TV, and I indulged myself by watching Clueless, Ten Things I Hate About You, and Never Been Kissed, starring the no less adorable because he found my dream self offensive Michael Vartan himself. I remember going to see that movie a few years ago in the theater and swooning in my seat. I think the whole reason I started watching Alias was for him. I am a pathetic Michael Vartan fangirl. And my dream projection of him found my dream self smelly!
It is oh so very tragic.
On the topic of things that do smell: Scout. My cat. Scout is quite possibly the most adorable cat to ever grace the planet, but she is also on occasion so smelly that I think Phoebe's "Smelly Cat" was written expressly for her. When she was a kitten, Molly used to bat her around and her only means of defense was to stick her butt in the air and back into Molly's face. I swear, I watched her do it, and Molly, who was an adult cat at the time and at least five times Scout's size, would RUN in fear. Such was the wretchedness of Scout's flatulence. We had to put her on special kitten food.
She's still got a bit of the Smelly Kitten in her, and will sit adorably in your lap, gaze up lovingly at you, and then yawn in your face and release such heinous halitosis breath that oxygen supply to the brain is severely compromised. But she's so adorable while she does it that you can't really hate her.
On the topic of things that do not smell: Me. Seriously. I swear. Dream projection of Michael Vartan be damned!
I worry that the massive BO is not just a dream thing, as today when I was on the phone with a friend, my father walked over to me and started rubbing a perfume insert all over my shoulder and hair. Now whenever I turn my head I get a massive whiff of some Calvin Klein scent. It's kind of disconcerting.
I swear I don't smell. Or I hope I don't. I bathe regularly and am a faithful user of both deodorant AND cheap body spray/perfume.
Today there was an unexpected boon of girlie movies on TV, and I indulged myself by watching Clueless, Ten Things I Hate About You, and Never Been Kissed, starring the no less adorable because he found my dream self offensive Michael Vartan himself. I remember going to see that movie a few years ago in the theater and swooning in my seat. I think the whole reason I started watching Alias was for him. I am a pathetic Michael Vartan fangirl. And my dream projection of him found my dream self smelly!
It is oh so very tragic.
On the topic of things that do smell: Scout. My cat. Scout is quite possibly the most adorable cat to ever grace the planet, but she is also on occasion so smelly that I think Phoebe's "Smelly Cat" was written expressly for her. When she was a kitten, Molly used to bat her around and her only means of defense was to stick her butt in the air and back into Molly's face. I swear, I watched her do it, and Molly, who was an adult cat at the time and at least five times Scout's size, would RUN in fear. Such was the wretchedness of Scout's flatulence. We had to put her on special kitten food.
She's still got a bit of the Smelly Kitten in her, and will sit adorably in your lap, gaze up lovingly at you, and then yawn in your face and release such heinous halitosis breath that oxygen supply to the brain is severely compromised. But she's so adorable while she does it that you can't really hate her.
On the topic of things that do not smell: Me. Seriously. I swear. Dream projection of Michael Vartan be damned!
