Am angry

at self! Dammit. Overcommitted myself tomorrow and now I have to do two things I don't want to do at all. Dammitdammitdammit. Have to skip out of work early (which makes me feel bad and immoral, forcing me to realize that yes, I do have a work ethic buried somewhere in me) to go on a hike with a bunch of kids for like three hours. I am not the hiking kind. And I have to drive to remote hiking spot. Which I don't want to do. President of club wouldn't let me off the hook, despite all my attempts to be freed up, the fact that I was an hour late for work tonight because of club meeting, and the fact that she has another driver AND more than enough chaperones. Dammit! I can't just cancel though because (as usual) there would be guilt.

Am angry. Because it's All! My! Fault!

Can't say no. It's an issue, and must be dealt with. Pronto. Fear I will have bad day because I will resent having to do what I have to do, which basically kills any fun potential. Must create better mood despite bitterness! Must show shining, friendly, happy-to-be-hiking face to children! Must!

Off to watch a flick.

plumb tuckered out

Whew! Survived hike, all children emerged intact (though it seemed touch and go for a while). The Outing Club people organized the hike, and I don't think they were aware that they would be taking

(a) Small children

and

(b) Out-of-shape tutors of said small children.

At many points I feared I was just going to collapse and could see the headline -- "College Student Medivacced Out of Local Park; Unable to Complete Hike With Small Children". But I made it. The trail was scary! There were these huge drops and we had to cross not one, not two, but three streams (only one of which had a bridge), and had to make the kids hop from stone to stone all the while having visions of cracked skulls and fractured ankles. But we made it! The two kids I was assigned to keep my eye on were good, especially considering the girl I was watching announced halfway through that she had to use the bathroom and I uttered that wonderful response we all remember from our childhoods -- "Hold it." Then she fell smack on her face a little bit later and earned a piggy-back ride the rest of the way. (Got bless random Outing Club guy. He will ascend directly to heaven) I made it! I hiked!

I never will again!

Anyway, must now go to bed, as I have to be up at 4AM tomorrow because I'm going to D.C. Woohoo! Only cost 35 bucks and we get to fly there and back. Exciting. Fear I will die in major air disaster. Happy thoughts!