![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fearlesstempHappy Festivus! While I, like the Constitution, recognize every individual's right to free expression, I would request that any and all airing of grievances be carried out quietly, or loudly in a place where I will not see/hear it. For I do not have the stomach for such things.
But I still love Festivus! A quick nod to its origins:
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born . . . a Festivus for the rest of us!
Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some doll.
Frank Costanza: She was!
I know a lot of people don't find Seinfeld funny, but it was central to my late upbringing. My parents were indifferent about the importance of regular church attendance, but Seinfeld was simply never missed.
Anyway. I have been so busy lately! So busy that at one point I went FOUR DAYS without checking one of my e-mail addresses. FOUR DAYS. And, okay, so I did check my other e-mail address – but generally I check all of my addresses at least three times a day. Four days is totally a personal best. I owe people replies to e-mails; I owe replies to comments; I owe phone calls. I owe my job some quality work, and yet here I am. LiveJournalling it up.
That's the type of gal I am.
A list of things I've done and have meant to write LiveJournal entries about, but simply did not have the time:
-Housesitting in a huge, beautiful, three-story brownstowne in the scary part of my home town – the two buildings across the street were boarded up. BOARDED UP. I was positive I was going to be murdered in my sleep almost every night.
-I said almost every night because one of the nights I was positive I was going to freeze to death, because the heat died at about 6PM (after I tried to turn it up from a chilly 60 degrees – little did I know how good I had it! By midnight, when it was dropping into the 40s, I began to realize how foolish I'd been about thinking 60 degrees was cold). I had to wake up the homeowners on vacation to get permission to call the heating company, who came at about 2:30 in the morning to restart the furnace somehow.
"Now, you may smell some smoke," Scary Maintenance Guy said. "When I pressed the reset button, a bunch of oily black smoke came out. But I'm pretty sure you'll be okay."
"Oh my God," I said.
"Yeah," SMG said, with an indifferent shrug. "It should be all right."
"So the house won't explode later tonight, and take out the entire neighborhood?"
"You're funny," SMG said, with no inflection.
"Um, okay," I said. "Bye."
[Note: The house did not explode. My brother (who came down to stay with me when I got freaked out at the idea of SMG coming in the middle of the night with me there alone) and I did leave about twenty minutes later, however, to sleep at home.]
-The next day, I woke up all disoriented and groggy and drove down to feed the cats, only to realize upon reaching the front door that I'd left the keys to the brownstone at home. Oh, the expletives were flying.
-On Monday, I finished up the housesitting and stepped out the front door to discover THE WORLD HAD ENDED IN ICE, like that famous poem, because there was NO WAY THE WORLD COULD GO ON IN SUCH COLD.
And yet it did.
I had packed days and days before, without checking the weather report, and my Designated Monday Outfit was centered around a knee-length skirt and pantyhose, the latter of which tore at the knee while I was wrestling with my car door (it had, naturally, frozen shut, as it would again that evening, after I had run in for milk and beer [my family's fuel] at a convenience store on my way home from tutoring). I have never been so cold in my life.
The miracle of Monday was the fact that my car started with no trouble. The non-miracle of Monday was the fact that my heat continued to be crappy, so I spent the entire commute and walk to work trying to come up a word to describe the weather, because "cold" just didn't cut it.
Finally, it came to me, the phrase that summed it up: Fucking Cold.
I have more to rattle on about, but my workday is over – perhaps more later. If I don't get to post again, Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Weekend to you all!
But I still love Festivus! A quick nod to its origins:
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born . . . a Festivus for the rest of us!
Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some doll.
Frank Costanza: She was!
I know a lot of people don't find Seinfeld funny, but it was central to my late upbringing. My parents were indifferent about the importance of regular church attendance, but Seinfeld was simply never missed.
Anyway. I have been so busy lately! So busy that at one point I went FOUR DAYS without checking one of my e-mail addresses. FOUR DAYS. And, okay, so I did check my other e-mail address – but generally I check all of my addresses at least three times a day. Four days is totally a personal best. I owe people replies to e-mails; I owe replies to comments; I owe phone calls. I owe my job some quality work, and yet here I am. LiveJournalling it up.
That's the type of gal I am.
A list of things I've done and have meant to write LiveJournal entries about, but simply did not have the time:
-Housesitting in a huge, beautiful, three-story brownstowne in the scary part of my home town – the two buildings across the street were boarded up. BOARDED UP. I was positive I was going to be murdered in my sleep almost every night.
-I said almost every night because one of the nights I was positive I was going to freeze to death, because the heat died at about 6PM (after I tried to turn it up from a chilly 60 degrees – little did I know how good I had it! By midnight, when it was dropping into the 40s, I began to realize how foolish I'd been about thinking 60 degrees was cold). I had to wake up the homeowners on vacation to get permission to call the heating company, who came at about 2:30 in the morning to restart the furnace somehow.
"Now, you may smell some smoke," Scary Maintenance Guy said. "When I pressed the reset button, a bunch of oily black smoke came out. But I'm pretty sure you'll be okay."
"Oh my God," I said.
"Yeah," SMG said, with an indifferent shrug. "It should be all right."
"So the house won't explode later tonight, and take out the entire neighborhood?"
"You're funny," SMG said, with no inflection.
"Um, okay," I said. "Bye."
[Note: The house did not explode. My brother (who came down to stay with me when I got freaked out at the idea of SMG coming in the middle of the night with me there alone) and I did leave about twenty minutes later, however, to sleep at home.]
-The next day, I woke up all disoriented and groggy and drove down to feed the cats, only to realize upon reaching the front door that I'd left the keys to the brownstone at home. Oh, the expletives were flying.
-On Monday, I finished up the housesitting and stepped out the front door to discover THE WORLD HAD ENDED IN ICE, like that famous poem, because there was NO WAY THE WORLD COULD GO ON IN SUCH COLD.
And yet it did.
I had packed days and days before, without checking the weather report, and my Designated Monday Outfit was centered around a knee-length skirt and pantyhose, the latter of which tore at the knee while I was wrestling with my car door (it had, naturally, frozen shut, as it would again that evening, after I had run in for milk and beer [my family's fuel] at a convenience store on my way home from tutoring). I have never been so cold in my life.
The miracle of Monday was the fact that my car started with no trouble. The non-miracle of Monday was the fact that my heat continued to be crappy, so I spent the entire commute and walk to work trying to come up a word to describe the weather, because "cold" just didn't cut it.
Finally, it came to me, the phrase that summed it up: Fucking Cold.
I have more to rattle on about, but my workday is over – perhaps more later. If I don't get to post again, Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Weekend to you all!
