die of embarrassment after the beep

[fearlesstemp]

Okay, so I've been stalking my advisor for the university where I'm planning to take a grad class in the fall. I've called him three times in the past two weeks, and it was only after the third unreturned phone call that I thought to call the department and ask what was up -- and actually, I don't think I thought of it. Either my mother or one of my friends did; regardless, I called and found out he was on vacation and then felt like a tool for having left three separate annoying messages on his voicemail. But I didn't know!

Anyway, he called me back today, and we had our little advising session, and then before we got off the phone, had the following exchange:

Me: Well, thanks for your help! And sorry for leaving all of those messages. If I'd known you were away, I wouldn't have kept calling.

Prof: Oh no, it's my fault, I should have changed my message.

Me: Oh, it's okay! I always forget too.

InternalMe: What? Like you need to leave such messages when you go away to stop the onslaught of phone calls. Liar!

Prof: That's right, aren't you the one who hates leaving messages?

InternalMe: God, I said that on my message? On one of my many messages?

External Me: Ha! Haha! Yep, that's me! I get nervous and always feel like I sound like an idiot.

Prof: (Hearty intellectual laugh) Yes, I heard them and thought, this girl went to Union? Because that's a fairly good school.

InternalMe: Oh my God, he thinks I'm challenged. I DO sound like a headcase when I leave messages! A stupid headcase!!! I KNEW IT! KNEW IT!! MUST GO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT!

External Me: Ha! Haha! I have to go.

So now I'm obsessing over my inability to leave coherent messages. I mean, up until now I've figured I can't be as bad as I think I am, and even if I am, most of the time when I leave messages they're for people I know who already know and tolerate me and can just chalk up my answering machine-induced verbal diahrrhea as a character quirk. But now! Now I realize that it's not a somewhat-charming character quirk for people who don't know me! I just SOUND REALLY STUPID.

Argh. I feel like enrolling in a crash course, where trained professionals would teach me how to remember to leave my name, and speak slowly and clearly, and speak in normal, mature tones. Right now I sound like a twelve-year-old who's recently inhaled several helium balloons and usually end my messages with some oh-so-mature variation on the following: "...thanks! Bye!........oh, did I say this was Jess? Because it is. Okay. Bye! Again!"

It's not pretty.

Now I'm wondering if my other mildly-obsessed-over flaws are actually as bad as I've always feared. Like: Is my head freakishly large? Etc etc.

And now I'm off to watch my tape of The OC.

Comments

[pink-aster.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty effing terrible at leaving messages myself, and speech and communication is like, you know, my thing. I usually start off well, like:

Hello this is Laura _______ from _______ calling for Mrs. So and So. I need to set up a meeting with you, regarding your son Billy. Please call me as soon as possible at the school to set up the appointment. The number is...oh wait...I don't have the number memorized...it's programed in my cell phone, and I just do speed dial if I need to call the school myself. Uh, hang on, I know we have it written down here somewhere, uh....um....uh....I can't find it. But you probably know the school's number, so, uh, call me at the school at your earliest convenience, and uh, we'll set up a time to meet. Oh yeah, this is Laura _______ from ________ calling about a meeting for ________. Uh, thanks, bye.

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

Hello this is Laura _______ from _______ calling for Mrs. So and So. I need to set up a meeting with you, regarding your son Billy. Please call me as soon as possible at the school to set up the appointment. The number is...oh wait...I don't have the number memorized...it's programed in my cell phone, and I just do speed dial if I need to call the school myself. Uh, hang on, I know we have it written down here somewhere, uh....um....uh....I can't find it. But you probably know the school's number, so, uh, call me at the school at your earliest convenience, and uh, we'll set up a time to meet. Oh yeah, this is Laura _______ from ________ calling about a meeting for ________. Uh, thanks, bye.

Oh my God. That is so me! Especially the repeating the name at the end thing -- that is my trademark, man! I've been known to call back and leave a second message letting the person know that the previous insane message had been from Jess ______.

Am so crazy! But glad to know I'm not alone with this quirk.

I love Jessages!

[foxyfrau.livejournal.com]

So don't alter your message-leaving behavior too much, because I would surely miss them!

Re: I love Jessages!

[fearlesstemp.livejournal.com]

So don't alter your message-leaving behavior too much, because I would surely miss them!


AnnaBean! You are too kind. :)

Also: How the hell are ya? Have not talked in, like, FIVE WHOLE DAYS. Must get an Anna Update! How is F-Dawg? Hope you're having fun.