fearlesstemp | traumatic experience

So the other night, I was minding my own business, chillin', insert your descriptive phrase of choice, when I had one of the most horrifying experiences of my life. No, really. Really.

I was walking into the upstairs bathroom and felt this thing on my face, like a strand of hair, so I shook my head a little, and went to brush it out of my face with my hand. Before I had the chance to perform the brush-and-remove, though, I did what comes naturally -- to take a breath and try to blow the hair out of my face. And so I took a deep breath through my nose, I guess, and felt this THING in my right nostril. Naturally, I reacted in a mature manner: I snot-rocketed said THING onto the bathroom floor in no time flat.

I looked to see what it was AND IT WAS A SPIDER!!!! The THING was a spider!!!! And it had been IN MY NOSE! Or, if not in my nose, right about to gain entry into my nose! Skirting the outside of my nostril! HOW HORRIFYING!

Oh my God, I seriously almost died. I grabbed some toilet paper and did the ole squash 'n flush but dude, I'm totally traumatized. I'm fixated on blowing my nose. If I feel the slightest stuffiness in my nose, I simply must blow for fear that it could be a foreign object of the arachnid persuasion. I am traumatized!

Traumatized!