farce central

Joke of jokes: I'm training the girl who's taking over this job when I leave at the end of July. I know! It's only June 10! I can only deduce that they brought her on this early due to my blazing incompetence and desire to get someone more capable into the role. I cannot blame them.

Sample conversation between New Hire and Fearless Temp (aka yours truly):

New Hire: Hey Jess. I was just wondering what your system was for organizing supplies?

Fearless Temp: Um...I don't have one?

New Hire: Oh! That's...interesting.

FT: I kind of just put them in this bulky pile of random labels in a half-assed attempt at organization. (reaches down and pulls out huge pile of random labels)

NH: Interesting choice.

FT: Yes. Half-assed is my middle name. It refers to my mindset, of course, and not any physical attribute. Which should be obvious, since I clearly possess a full ass, if not more. Anything else?

NH: What about footers on letters?

FT: Hmm..footers...

NH: Do Mr. Nice Boss and Mr. OCD Boss like them? What's the system for that?

FT: To be honest, NH, I don't really have what you would call a "sytem" for that. Or, well. Anything.

NH: Oh.

FT: Okay! I'm a tard! I don't know anything! I'm disorganized and I forget things and I only just now realized that I've actually got five things to do instead of two and so I shouldn't be writing this LJ entry! Stop staring down at me in judgment from your high horse of snappy professional appearance and well-coiffed hair! Stop staring at my hastily and unevenly applied undereye concealer and chipped toenails! STOP JUDGING ME!

NH: Are you on something?

FT: I'm bitter that the teen scene hasn't been on GH in days. It gets to me.

NH: Ah. Okay. I'm going to go sit at this desk five feet away from you and pretend you don't exist.

FT: Good plan.

Back to work...