workin for the man

The Man, aka Mr. Boss, has not been in yet today and since I am such a FABULOUS secretary, I have no idea where he is or when he'll be back. People keep coming up to me all, "Is Mr. Boss going to be in today?" and I just stare blankly all "Uhh....I dunno."

I've finished my work, all my dictation, the filing put away, etc etc. I'm in this odd space of having nothing in particular to do and I'm feeling so guilty! Usually I'm so busy here that I'm always behind on something but I've caught up and can just sit here and stare and get paid for it. I feel so guilty, like I should dock myself pay for not doing anything.

When did this HAPPEN to me? When did I develop, like, a work ethic? This is so strange!

In other news: My stupid car's battery is shot and so are my brakes and my exhaust pipe thingy. Can't put it off any longer and will actually have to shell out the cash or, rather, the plastic. Car Repair Dude seems legit and is the second person to tell me about the brakes -- when I made noises about maybe just getting the battery done (How cheap am I? Or, rather, how out of sync are my priorities? I was all "Hmmm, three hundred dollars for brakes, that could seriously cut into my See Rent in NYC Fund" and actually HEMMED AND HAWED about getting them fixed), he panicked and was all, "I can gather the parts and open it up and have you come down here so you can see for yourself, you really need them done." And then I threw caution to the wind and decided that I didn't want my exhaust system to fall off on the highway in mid-winter and got that too.

OH, why can't I have LOTS AND LOTS of money? I want to be boss of the world and in charge of such things.

You know what? It's ok. It's all ok. EVERYTHING'S ok. You know why? COME SAIL AWAY IS ON THE RADIO! I LOVE THIS SONG! I'm going to sit here at my desk, emphatically lip sing (complete with graceful hand movements) and hope no one catches me.

But we'll try
Best as we can
To CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY ON!!!

[Guitar riffs, some words I don't know about angels gathering]

They said
Come sail away!
Come sail away!
Come sail away with me!

COME SAIL AWAY, COME SAIL AWAY, COME SAIL AWAY WITH ME!

[psychedelic synthesized action]

Seriously? This totally makes it all better.

further work adventures

Am massive tool. Forgot that I was supposed to cover reception and was sitting at my desk chair-dancing to Come Sail Away when the poor receptionist called me and asked tentatively if I was supposed to be covering her lunch. And I was! And I was a HALF HOUR late! What is wrong with me? I've done this before! Other secretaries came up and were all "It helps if you put it in your calendar, you know, maybe you should write it down. Like, right now. No, right now. Before you forget, you ditzy temp."

Ok, so maybe those weren't their exact words. They were very nice about it and I was very nice in return and took their suggestion to heart and all that, but internally I was thinking, "Ok, I'll 'write it down' but I don't NEED to. What kind of moron forgets twice? Pshaw."

Apparently a moron just like me.

In other other news: I purchased some new hair stuff that's supposed to de-frizz one's hair and I can't tell if it works. My hair does seem *different*, sure, and maybe it is less frizzy, but I think it's only de-frizzed on the outer layer, so I have this like de-frizzed outer shell and all this super-poufy hair underneath. Quite the do. I'm sure it's all the rage in Paris. This, as well as the massive expanses of hairy leg that I missed while shaving my legs this morning, is really adding to the Unkempt Temp Look I achieve every day.

Ah, Mr. Boss is back. I sense dictation tapes in my future, which means fewer boring LJ entries from work. Aren't you lucky?