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Today's Totally Awesome Temp Moment (and it better be, because if it gets upstaged this afternoon, I'm leaving the fabulous temp lifestyle to move on up to a world of fame, fortune, or [much more likely] retail) happened at approx. 10:18 this morning, when one of the attorneys asked me to put together a coffee tray for --

This LJ entry is interrupted for a Stage Four Disproportionate, Irrational Freak Out–

Oh my God. Okay, so I've been reading the Lj entries of people applying to grad programs with sympathy and feelings of sisterhood ([livejournal.com profile] sinsense and [livejournal.com profile] zeldachilds jump to mind), because though I'm applying to teaching programs, not academia, a lot of the processes are similar (GRE fun, general stressiness, letters of recommendation). So a shout out to all of you and apologies that I haven't been commenting in solidarity, but I am with you in spirit. I don't think I could have gotten more words staring with "s" in that paragraph if I tried.

Anyway. I e-mailed someone about a recommendation earlier and in my note joked about how I had "characteristically misplaced" her mailing address, and she just e-mailed me back all serious and concerned, saying things like, "You worry me when you put yourself down. You're fine the way you are! But if you wanted to change and put your mind to it, you probably could."

Immediate, irrational gut reaction A: it was a joke! A bad one, maybe? But I was just kidding, making a joke, which she did not get! Am unfunny and lame!

Immediate, irrational gut reaction B: wait, so does she want me to change? Hey! I'm not *dis*organized, I'm *differently*organized. Which isn't worse, except for the part where I'm always losing things. Like my Verizon bill, her address, often shoes.

But, must keep things in perspective. She's going to write the recommendation, and typing that up actually cleared my head of that heady mixture of self-doubt and overcharged ego, which is good because it's LUNCHTIME!

I will have to save my Totally Awesome Temp Moment for later.

Edited slightly at 1:25 PM. Would delete the entire thing but feel the entry's histrionics serve as a good example of why I should never post (a) right before lunch, when rushed and hungry; and/or (b) in the middle of reacting to something.

And that is all. For now.
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