fearlesstemp (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fearlesstemp) wrote2003-10-21 11:15 pm
fearlesstemp) wrote2003-10-21 11:15 pm
Entry tags:
rogue winds and the benefits of perm-ing
Last night? Scariest thing ever happened. Ever! Okay, at least in a while.
I was flossing my teeth in the bathroom, minding my own business, trying to calculate how much sleep I was going to get, when I heard the unmistakable sound of the front door to our house bursting open, complete with creaking hinges and the sound of wind rushing through the foyer. Let it be said that it was after midnight at this point and all family members currently residing at Casa MyLastName were sleeping in bed.
I stood there in the bathroom for a couple of minutes, floss dangling forgotten between two teeth, trying to figure out what to do. Was it a prowler? Was it just the wind? Had someone (ahem...me, since I was the last one home) not shut the door tightly? Was there a scary murderer waiting on the other side of the bathroom door to, well, murder me?
I yanked the floss from my mouth and developed A Plan. I shuffled around the bathroom and acted normal, like I somehow hadn't noticed the fact that the hall outside the bathroom had turned into a wind tunnel, just in case scary murderer lurked outside doorway. I then grabbed one of my (many) spray hair products and figured out where I would stand when I opened the door so that I could kind of hide but still see in the mirror if there was a scary murderer and attack him with spray gel. But when I opened the door, all I met was Molly the cat, looking bored and unamused, staring down through the gaping front door at Scout, sitting terrified on the front stoop outside, staring at the empty doorway. No murderers!
I then grabbed the cordless phone and debated waking up my parents to go downstairs with me (I was SCARED! Also wimpy) but was brave instead, going against every lesson I've ever learned from horror movies, and crept down the stairs with spray gel in one hand and the cordless phone in the other. Even after looking at the door and realizing that it had probably just been the wind blowing the door open, I was still freaked out to the point of not being able to sleep for a while last night, so today at work was pretty brutal.
But! I was brave! I secured the house alone! Although I did make the cats sleep in my bedroom with me. Because two furballs with a combined weight of 18 lbs are serious protection.
In other news: Work continues to be very, very busy. I continue to not completely know what is going on because I keep getting assigned more tasks. The manager and my two direct supervisors had made vague overtures in the past about wanting me to stay on, but never actually sat me down to discuss it, and then today I got an e-mail from one of them saying, "Well, since you're not interested in the position, we've started searching and have an interview today at 4PM, please let the receptionist know that Sally StealYourJob will be coming in." I read it and was all wait! No! What's going on? I never said I wasn't interested! Maybe I never said I was super interested! I don't KNOW.
I'm so bad at thinking on my feet. They would just kind of sidle up to me while I was in the middle of something and say, "So, you gonna stay?" and I would not know quite what to say, usually stuck to a simple maybe. My problem, AS ALWAYS, was that I wasn't direct with them about it. But I was today, and I e-mailed the manager back all, "But! I'm not not interested! I'm interested! Is it too late?" and she was nice, said they'd be happy to consider me. And wow, I'm making this REALLY REALLY LONG and I don't need to.
So now, assuming I do get offered this job (a rather large assumption, as I screwed up at least three times today), a list of pros and cons for my reference:
Pros:
-Fab benefits (dental! vision!)
-Relatively nice co-workers
-Possible tuition reimbursement for grad school
-Permanent job trappings of vacation time, sick time, paid holidays
Cons:
-Creepy corporate culture reminiscent of Office Space
-Kind of stressful
-Committing!
Something to contemplate. My mother says I shouldn't talk myself into anything either way and should just go with my gut. Will do some more recon and check in with gut later. Gut will likely be substantially larger, as I bought a half gallon of the most delish frozen yogurt ever and can't stop consuming it now. It's kind of scary. I want some more right now and only my sheer laziness is preventing me from getting up and going downstairs.
Today my supervisor said I apologize too much and that I have to stop worrying about interrupting people. She is right, and yet I still resent her for criticizing me. How DARE anyone insinuate I am anything less than perfect?? Bastards!
See, what people don't get about Over Apologizers is that most of the time? We really do mean it. Which probably means we're seriously messed up inside, but I always feel like people think I'm being fake and stuff, but I honestly do feel bad. Some days I just wake up feeling like one big cringe and spend the whole day feeling like apologizing for what I've done, and then I realize that annoys people, and I want to apolozize for THAT, and it's just a dangerous, annoying, never-ending cycle.
But I really shouldn't apologize so much. I should:
-apologize less
-eat more green leafy vegetables
-and other green vegetables, come to think of it
-eat more vegetables period
-be less scared
-also known as, being more brave
-stop obsessing over everything
-go to bed earlier
And in keeping with that last one, I'm off.
I was flossing my teeth in the bathroom, minding my own business, trying to calculate how much sleep I was going to get, when I heard the unmistakable sound of the front door to our house bursting open, complete with creaking hinges and the sound of wind rushing through the foyer. Let it be said that it was after midnight at this point and all family members currently residing at Casa MyLastName were sleeping in bed.
I stood there in the bathroom for a couple of minutes, floss dangling forgotten between two teeth, trying to figure out what to do. Was it a prowler? Was it just the wind? Had someone (ahem...me, since I was the last one home) not shut the door tightly? Was there a scary murderer waiting on the other side of the bathroom door to, well, murder me?
I yanked the floss from my mouth and developed A Plan. I shuffled around the bathroom and acted normal, like I somehow hadn't noticed the fact that the hall outside the bathroom had turned into a wind tunnel, just in case scary murderer lurked outside doorway. I then grabbed one of my (many) spray hair products and figured out where I would stand when I opened the door so that I could kind of hide but still see in the mirror if there was a scary murderer and attack him with spray gel. But when I opened the door, all I met was Molly the cat, looking bored and unamused, staring down through the gaping front door at Scout, sitting terrified on the front stoop outside, staring at the empty doorway. No murderers!
I then grabbed the cordless phone and debated waking up my parents to go downstairs with me (I was SCARED! Also wimpy) but was brave instead, going against every lesson I've ever learned from horror movies, and crept down the stairs with spray gel in one hand and the cordless phone in the other. Even after looking at the door and realizing that it had probably just been the wind blowing the door open, I was still freaked out to the point of not being able to sleep for a while last night, so today at work was pretty brutal.
But! I was brave! I secured the house alone! Although I did make the cats sleep in my bedroom with me. Because two furballs with a combined weight of 18 lbs are serious protection.
In other news: Work continues to be very, very busy. I continue to not completely know what is going on because I keep getting assigned more tasks. The manager and my two direct supervisors had made vague overtures in the past about wanting me to stay on, but never actually sat me down to discuss it, and then today I got an e-mail from one of them saying, "Well, since you're not interested in the position, we've started searching and have an interview today at 4PM, please let the receptionist know that Sally StealYourJob will be coming in." I read it and was all wait! No! What's going on? I never said I wasn't interested! Maybe I never said I was super interested! I don't KNOW.
I'm so bad at thinking on my feet. They would just kind of sidle up to me while I was in the middle of something and say, "So, you gonna stay?" and I would not know quite what to say, usually stuck to a simple maybe. My problem, AS ALWAYS, was that I wasn't direct with them about it. But I was today, and I e-mailed the manager back all, "But! I'm not not interested! I'm interested! Is it too late?" and she was nice, said they'd be happy to consider me. And wow, I'm making this REALLY REALLY LONG and I don't need to.
So now, assuming I do get offered this job (a rather large assumption, as I screwed up at least three times today), a list of pros and cons for my reference:
Pros:
-Fab benefits (dental! vision!)
-Relatively nice co-workers
-Possible tuition reimbursement for grad school
-Permanent job trappings of vacation time, sick time, paid holidays
Cons:
-Creepy corporate culture reminiscent of Office Space
-Kind of stressful
-Committing!
Something to contemplate. My mother says I shouldn't talk myself into anything either way and should just go with my gut. Will do some more recon and check in with gut later. Gut will likely be substantially larger, as I bought a half gallon of the most delish frozen yogurt ever and can't stop consuming it now. It's kind of scary. I want some more right now and only my sheer laziness is preventing me from getting up and going downstairs.
Today my supervisor said I apologize too much and that I have to stop worrying about interrupting people. She is right, and yet I still resent her for criticizing me. How DARE anyone insinuate I am anything less than perfect?? Bastards!
See, what people don't get about Over Apologizers is that most of the time? We really do mean it. Which probably means we're seriously messed up inside, but I always feel like people think I'm being fake and stuff, but I honestly do feel bad. Some days I just wake up feeling like one big cringe and spend the whole day feeling like apologizing for what I've done, and then I realize that annoys people, and I want to apolozize for THAT, and it's just a dangerous, annoying, never-ending cycle.
But I really shouldn't apologize so much. I should:
-apologize less
-eat more green leafy vegetables
-and other green vegetables, come to think of it
-eat more vegetables period
-be less scared
-also known as, being more brave
-stop obsessing over everything
-go to bed earlier
And in keeping with that last one, I'm off.