Is it poor form to liken a BeeGees medley to a religious experience? Because wow. I felt something come over me while watching that, and it could have been The Power. I squealed loudly and clapped my hands and kicked my feet up into the air like the spastic freak I am at heart and most of all, I am so grateful that there were no people in the immediate vicinity to be harmed by my flailing appendages. Or, for that matter, the high-pitched squeals I emitted. No shattered glass!
THEY WERE SO AWESOME!! Ah! It was so fabulous! I think about it and start gazing off into the distance with a stupid grin on my face while unconsciously boppin' in my chair. Ah! NSYNC 2GETHA 4EVA!!!
I love them so much. SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
Ahem. Must attempt to control self.
Also! James Taylor!!! I love James Taylor so much! Whenever he sings, I feel like there can't be anything wrong in the world. He is my Prozac. Really, the only bad thing to come out of the Grammys is the fact that I cannot stop singing that Norah Jones song, which is one of those deadly ditties that sounds like it could be sung well by anyone, but really? Only trained professionals, please. Or really, anyone but me. I scared the cats away. I think I will have to ply them with promises of vocal silence and bits of Chex Mix to get them to hang out with me again.
Ok, on the subject of *NSYNC-Related Things I Love, Justin's new video! I love it! This statement of approval must be taken with the requisite grain of salt, as what I've said in the past about *NSYNC-related things, pasted below:I am not what you would call particularly critical when it comes to *NSYNC. Basically, my complaints are usually related to the fact that the video/performance/interview had to end. Other than that, I'm pretty much always happy.
continues to be true. I have no objectivity! And I don't care! Objectivity is overrated! I heart them and therefore I heart everything they do!! I have the emotional maturity and critical eye of a thirteen year old where they're concerned and I DON'T CARE!!
But really, fabulous stuff! Justin, jammin' in the cool club! And my inner teenie fan was very happy with the fact that for the bulk of the time he sang to the "you" whose body he wanted to "rock" he was looking directly into the camera and therefore at me! Sitting at home in my red flannel pajamas with little Scottie dogs emblazoned on them, zit control cream dabbed over my problem areas, with a half-eaten granola bar sitting forgotten in my lap! Wow, I really am thirteen. But I don't care! Justin wants to rock my body! I won't be so quick to walk away, Justin! If you want to rock my body, I will gladly stay! I will freely admit that I want to play! I will dance with you Justin, I WILL!!!!!
Sudden change of topic necessitated, in part, by the fact that I think I've used up my quota of exclamation points for the next five and a half years.
Last night! Last night Anna and I decided to Do Something Different (well, Anna decided and I went along; I will rarely really decide to Do Soemthing Different. Left to my own devices, I would split all of my free time between the bookstore, my favorite restaurants, and the local indie arty movie theater. Ah, I lie. I would go to the big evil megaplex because they would play the indie art flicks as well as movies like Shanghai Noon which I STILL have not seen because no one I know wants to see it. Anyone feel like driving to Upstate New York to see it with me? As of right now, I've whined about wanting to see it so much that my mother has offered to go with me just to shut me up. I kid, I kid. No need to cross state lines to see a movie with me. Not seeing the latest wacky adventures of Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan won't *kill* me, I suppose. I *suppose*. And actually, my mom saw Rush Hour and really enjoyed it so I think she could dig the Shanghai Knights vibe. What was I talking about before I opened this parenthesis? Oh! Back on topic...), and so we went to see Antigone Rising, this all-female band, play at a club in our area.
So anyway, Anna and I are chillin' in the club, Anna with her Corona, I with my oh-so-cool regular coke (for some reason, I feel less lame ordering a regular coke than a diet coke when I'm out), both of us watching this balding guy in his mid-thirties eye Anna with no shame, when all of a sudden I go to reach for my omnipresent pack of pink Extra gum and discover -- dun dun DUN -- that my keys aren't sitting alongside it in my pocket! Drama! I check the other pocket, begin to panic, and then experience a traumatic wavy-lined flashback to getting out of the car. There I was, standing in the parking lot, deciding which belongings would be left behind in The Electric Lady and which would make the cut to come into the club with me. While jostling for the lip gloss, ID, cash, and gum that made the cut, I watched my keys fall into a puddle at my feet. Silly Jess,
I thought, Don't forget you dropped those!
And of course I did. So I had to tear out of the club like a bat out of hell, though I really doubt anyone would either (a) break into my car or (b) steal it, even if the keys to said car are lying in a puddle right next to the driver's side door. The car practically screams More Trouble Than Its Worth.
Needless to say, the keys were there, the car and our belongings unharmed, and so I returned to find Anna sitting alone, Mr. Balding Thirty-Something not having worked up the courage to strike up a convo with her, and we resumed our wacky adventures in the club.
Which continued with the Attack of the Heavily Medicated Drunk Lady. Anna and I were mindin' our bizness, sitting down after the opening act finished and waiting for the actual band to start, when this woman plopped down in the chair facing us about a foot and a half away and started talking to us.
"[Unintelligible Rambling]," she said, popping open her Mike's Cranberry Lemonade.
And Anna and I just stared at her because wow, did she merit staring because she was not the type of person you came across every day. Mid to late thirties, with a lopsided modified black mullet 'do with bright red highlights, heavy makeup and crazy eyes, olive green former shirt now modified vest, jeans with turquoise flowers embroidered on them, and tattoos running up and down each arm.
"Hm?" I said, because I am apparently VERY STUPID and cannot turn off the politeness, even when Heavily Medicated Drunks are involved.
"I KEEP FREAKING PEOPLE OUT!" she shouted. "I'VE SCARED THREE TABLES AWAY!" And then she pointed in various directions with this wild look in her eye and I began to wonder if she was armed.
"Oh," Anna said, turning to me. "Jess, didn't we want to go check out the --"
"THE THING IS, I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND THAT FREAKS PEOPLE OUT. THEY JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT!" She shook her head, mourning for those people she'd left behind who were unable to deal with her intense brand of honesty. I envied them.
"[Unintelligible rambling]," she said, and then when we didn't respond, leaned forward and bellowed, "ARE YOU GAY?" at Anna, who said no, and then at me, who said the same thing. Well, I said no, not "ARE YOU GAY?" Just to clarify.
And then I sat there frozen by the intense awkwardness of the situation and nearly died. Because! Crazy drunk drug-addled lady talking to me! Do not want to anger her or particularly endear myself to her! I ended up ruing the moment Anna and I decided to sit in that spot and was going to try to wait her out when Heavily Medicated Drunk Lady said something I couldn't understand, laughed loudly, and reached over and GRABBED MY LEG.
And so then Anna and I decided that it was worth the risk of pissing off the HMDL to get out of Dodge right then.
"We have to go check out that thing!" I said, pointing to the other side of the club.
"I FREAKED YOU GUYS OUT TOO, HUH," said the Heavily Medicated Drunk Lady.
"No!" I said. "Not at all! We just...really have to go. Nice to meet you!"
And then we bolted.
Later in the evening we also spotted the Crazy Eyed Guy I sat next to at the peace meeting a few weeks back
. I considered introducing him to the HMDL, but since that would have required talking to both parties involved, thought better of it.
The rest of the evening passed rather unventfully, as did today, save the few hours I spent picking up my aunt and uncle at the airport and the freaking out over the medley a little earlier tonight. That is all for now! And so we conclude the latest adventures of Jess, the Socially Awkward, *NSYNC-Obsessed Twenty-Something.