fearlesstemp: (bucky)
Item the First: The Shower

Okay, here's the thing: I don't think I have great taste. It's not my thing, really; I'd like to be good at it, but in all honesty, I never know the proper thing to do, say, or wear in a given situation, and I rely heavily on other people to guide me (my mom and my friend Joanna, primarily). Because of this, I always feel really guilty and evil for gossiping about what I think is in poor taste – there's a chance I could and would do the same or similarly tacky things were I not surrounded by people saying, "No, Jess, you can't wear those shoes with that outfit." Maybe I do these things already, in spite of all the help! I don't know!!!

Sadly, this rarely stops me from making judgments about other people's taste (or lack thereof), occasionally sharing them in this journal.

All of this is a boring lead up to: I attended a baby shower for Kristen the Republican Bride this weekend.

The thing about showers, bridal or baby, is that they are by definition awful. They're terribly boring, requiring you to dress nice and give up hours of your life you'll never get back just to sit there and go "Ooooh. Aaaah," as another kitchen gadget/baby gadget is opened in front of you. But there are ways to make them less awful or more awful, and this shower? Was an exercise in the more awful, hands down.

a lengthy discussion of the shower, including my personal rules for making showers less awful )

Item the Second: Awkward Grandfather Interaction

Last night my grandfather came over for dinner. I can't remember how much I've talked about it in my LJ, but he's in declining health. He has been for the past few years, really, but especially since last August his mobility and mental state has been deteriorating, which has been stressful and hard to see.

But every so often there comes from it a gem, like last night. Every weekend we fix him a meal, usually dinner on Saturday or Sunday, and during the winter we'd just gone to his house with a plate of what we were eating or take out from one of his favorite restaurants. Since it's almost spring (technically it IS spring, but it sure doesn't feel like it lately), we decided to get him out of the house last night, and so he came to our place.

As we were sitting there at dinner, after he'd spent thirty seconds expectorating into one of his dinner napkins (there's nothing quite like dining with octogenarians with chronic post-nasal drip), he turned to us and said, in his most despairing Oh Poor Me voice (which he's most definitely justified in using at this point, considering his condition), "I hate to be a bother, but I need your assistance. You see, when I wake up in the morning, I – well, I have trouble getting erect. Later in the day it's fine, but in the morning, it's often a half hour struggle, and if someone could just stop by at about seven in the morning every day to help me get erect, I'd so appreciate it."

After he finished, there was a long pause during which my mother, father, and I exchanged looks and tried very, very hard not to laugh. Clearly my grandfather, being exposed to only the Eternal Word Television Network for the past decade or so, has missed the cultural bandwagon when it comes to English usage for the word "erect"; while back in The Day it may have been a run-of-the-mill of saying "to stand upright," nowadays, as I'm sure you all know, it means something else.

"Hmm," my mother said. "Yes. Well. We'll find a way to help you get up in the mornings, Jim."

"You see, once I get up, I'm fine, but at first – I have a really hard time getting erect."

"Right," I said.

"Yeah, we'll – we'll do something about that," my Dad said, and then tried to steer the conversation in another direction but my grandfather just would NOT let it go and went on for at least five minutes about his difficulty getting erect. I am not joking. He must have said the word fifty times. It was...an experience.

Item the Third: My Stupid Back

Last night, after bringing my grandfather home and helping him around, I took out the garbage, found the cat, and brought her inside. I leaned over to pick her up to give her a pill and oh dear GOD I saw stars. My back, which had been bothering me on and off for weeks and more so this past weekend, just exploded in pain and I almost passed out. Well, not really; what I did do was clutch poor Molly to my belly and lean against the counter, trying not to breathe. And then trying to breathe. And then deciding that I would give up chocolate for life if God would take the pain away.

Anyway, got back iced, took ibuprofen, went to bed and had a hard time sleeping, and woke up this morning feeling wretched again so I called in sick to work and made a desperate call to my doctor's office for an appointment today, which I got. I lurched around the house for hours, positive I had been terribly injured, and then decided to try my stretches again. After that, took a few ibuprofen and, magically, the pain? Just about disappeared. Not entirely, really, but for the most part? I felt FINE. And was faced with the prospect of an emergency doctor's appointment in two hours that I suddenly very much did not need.

Felt like crazy person going to said appointment! But I did, and the doctor was quite nice, going over my symptoms and telling me I Did the Right Thing, etc etc. She didn't even make fun of me when I referred to my back as being "ouchy" (it is a technical term). The result was the same old story: lower back muscle strain, don't lift heavy things, it's a slow process, blah blah blah. I do not like this whole back pain thing. It's annoying, and I feel like a pain in the ass for those around me. What am I going to do at work? Will have to be annoying temp with back problems who cannot lift things! They should fire me. I am being completely serious when I say I'm more trouble than I'm worth if I can't lift heavy things – one of my big tasks in the weeks to come is helping them prepare for this huge event in April. I have to put together 600 packets. This involves finding 600 copies of lots of things, including buttons, and carrying stacks/boxes/bags of 600 things, and putting them together, and if I can't do that what use am I to them?

Whatever. Happy thoughts: Between today and Good Friday, I have a three-day week! Woot!

And now it's almost dinner. Enough rambling from me.
fearlesstemp: (lionel)
My face is totally rebelling! I am breaking out all over! I mean, I'm familiar with the wacky pore hijinks of my T-zone, but I'd kind of taken the rest of my face for granted! And now I have all of these zits and odd dry patches on my cheeks and stuff. It's all my fault, I know, because I put regular old sunscreen on my face yesterday and didn't wash it off for a while. Stupid hoity toity skin, flipping out at the slightest hint of anything non-non-comedogenic or non-hypoallergenic, etc etc.

The weird thing is that the breaking out is eerily symmetrical. I have zitty action on both cheeks, both sides of my chin, and both sides of my upper lip. The only oddball is the stray zit in the upper left quadrant of my massive forehead.

Isn't this fascinating? I've spent the past week

(1) In a crazy insane wedding/rehearsal dinner production with 36 other bridal attendants;
(2) Sick with the summer cold of doom;
(3) In New York City seeing Pearl Jam;
(4) And then the Mets; and
(5) Having further future/career-related thoughts,

and my first opportunity to write an LJ entry in, like, a week? Of course about my skin!

I will write about the above later, because God forbid a boring moment pass in my life undocumented in this.

And, okay, you know what's really exciting? This coming Tuesday? SHANGHAI KNIGHTS ON DVD!! There are no words to express how much I loved this movie. So much fun! I can't wait to see it again. You know that dorky thing, where someone is sitting alone in their room, and suddenly bursts out laughing at something occurring only in their memory? Yeah, totally just did that, remembering Roy O'Bannon and Chon Wang's adventures. And realized that not only is it dorky, it's also vaguely creepy.

Dorky and vaguely creepy, that's me!

In other shallow news: Hair drama! So I started going to my new hairdresser about...four months ago? My cousin had gone to her for ages and I went on her recommendation. She gave me a cut I liked, I decided to keep going, and now, of course, my cousin has left for greener pastures and now my hairdresser is all mad at her and talking about her! Not to me, but still! It makes me feel like I should leave in a huff, but I'm not completely sure it's true and, also, I don't want her to talk about me when I'm gone! Also, I like her haircuts.

High drama in Upstate New York. It's either this or the state legislature. Wouldn't you rather talk about my hair?

In other Upstate NY-related news: On GH today, someone referred to Port Charles as being an hour from the shore and I spent a pathetic amount of time trying to figure out where they are. I always try to do this when they give clues, even though the clues are often contradictory, as if once I piece it all together, I will be able to hop in my little car and track Nikolas down.

And with that pathetic confession, I think it's high time for me to toddle off to bed.
fearlesstemp: (lionel)
I jammed to California Girls on the Oldies station a few weeks ago, and it left me wondering: Do the Beach Boys want the Midwest farmer's daughters and East Coast girls to change and become California girls? Or do they simply appreciate said groups of girls so much as they are that they want all of them to BE in California with them? I never listen to the song closely enough to figure it out.

Also: Three day weekend!!!! The bulk of mine will be eaten up by the Big Fat Republican Wedding. Whee. I bet you guys are crazy excited, though, as once it's over, my Bitchy Bridesmaid Entries will be cut in half!

Also Part II: I need to buy lipstick for this wedding. I only use cheapo boring lip gloss most days, because I have lipstick anxiety. If I had three makeup related wishes? They would be:

(1) The ability to know which lipstick shades would look perfect with my hair, complexion, and clothes;

(2) The ability to put on eyeliner; and

(3) World peace. Because everyone wishes for world peace! This could probably be accomplished with makeup. If people felt more fabulous, wouldn't they not be as eager to blow each other to smithereens? I ponder a future where Israeli and Palestinian exchange bronzer hints and eye shadow tricks. A beautiful day! (Both literally and metaphorically.)
fearlesstemp: (lionel)
Because complaining about it all day to everyone withing shouting or e-mailing distance isn't enough, I must whine here: Dudes, my knee is killing me! I twisted it getting out of the shower today and now it hurts every time I bend it or put weight on it, which forces me to walk around like I've borrowed Frankenstein's left leg. V. annoying! Especially since I drive a standard and am supposed to go cavorting around the tri-city area tonight picking up my altered bridesmaid gown (moment of silence for "Please God let it fit" prayer) and wedding-related gifts. I loathe pain so much that I'll likely throw it in one gear and keep it there, which will wreak havoc once I get off the highway and start handling all of the secondary roads in fifth gear.

And I've been *so good* this week exercising, and was actually looking forward to going tonight, but I can't if my knee hurts! Will I have to actually break the protective plastic wrapping on my Pilates videotape? I've only had it...oh, three months or so now.

I also forgot my shoes for the dress and am afraid the Intimidating Eastern European Seamstresses will scold me when I go to pick up the dress, as I assume they make you try it on before you leave.

In other wedding-related news: Am in a quandary regarding Big Fat Republican Wedding, which is taking place next weekend. The question is -- To get my hair done or not to get my hair done? And I just wrote like four paragraphs on my internal debate and deleted them because they were painfully boring, even for me! The point is: I would likely look more polished but it would cost money! And I can't really justify throwing more money into the gaping maw of suckiness that is this bridesmaid experience.

I'm sure there will be further hair-related chapters in this bridesmaid bonanza. Like: To flat iron or not to flat iron?

So exciting!!
fearlesstemp: (Default)
My latest thing: I cannot stop eating. I mean, CANNOT. And all bad things! I think I ate like five mini candy bars at work today. And some potato salad from yesterday's luncheon. And then a regular lunch, and tonight for dinner I had like four tacos and roughly eight pounds of chips and guacamole.

And I know it's ALL BECAUSE I went to get my dress for the July 5 Big Republican Wedding fitted on Wednesday and they ended up pinning to take it in on the sides and up top (not a surprise, as my chubbage has never really manifested itself in the chest area), and now I can't stop eating, making it a definite possibility that I will bust out of the unexpectedly tasteful bridesmaid's gown in the middle of the ceremony. V. nice.

Must control self. Am thisclose to raiding the freezer for ice cream. Must control self!

In other news: Friends threw the loveliest little birthday gathering for me tonight. I used a scooter! And fell, of course, shoulder-first into a wall. But I sense no lasting injuries, as I am tough! Tough!

And now it's waaay late. Bedtime for Jessers.
fearlesstemp: (working girl)
I saw Two Weeks Notice last night and I really, really enjoyed it. Am apparently the only (somewhat) discerning film viewer in the world with this opinion, as evidenced by my mother's and most film critics' opinions. Can anyone else out there back me up? Wasn't it fun and kind of different and hello! Hugh Grant! And I swear that my goodwill towards the film isn't coming from the multiple Mets references and cameo by Mike Piazza. Okay, so maybe a teensy bit of it is, but not all! Anyone else out there feelin' the love for it? No? Just me? Okay then!

Moving on: Okay, I am so incredibly excited for the Dawson's Creek finale, it's really rather sad. But I am! I loved last week's episode, and not only in that love-to-hate-it way, but in that, you know, genuinely enjoying it way. And. Well. I may have liked the voiceover at the end. I may have perhaps teared up, or maybe it was something in my eye. One or the other. Regardless, I can't wait for Wednesday.

My weekend was busy but good mainly because! The Bridal Showers of DOOM are OVER!!! Yay!!! My cousin's was nice, my friend's rather garish but still nice, and now I can sit back and relax until the weddings unless, God forbid, one or both of the Maids of Honor for the weddings decide that a bachelorette party is in order. Or there are other showers. Please God no. Which reminds me: if one is invited to multiple showers, does one have to purchase multiple gifts? If I am, perhaps I will simply buy a place setting and start doling it out item by item until the wedding, where I present her with whatever's left in the box. Doesn't that sound classy?

Check it out, ladies and gents! Quittin' time! Sweet.
fearlesstemp: (Default)
Of course! Of course the bridal shower planning committees for the two weddings I'm in this summer have scheduled their respective bridal showers for the SAME DAY. One at noon! One at one! Forty minutes away from each other! What am I going to do?? The club's rented and set for one shower, and the other seems to be more nebulous and so I've put in notice to them of my plight (not requiring them to change the shower, of course, but just informing them that I won't be able to be at the entire shower. Though really, as I said to Jo on the phone tonight, if an event is even partially Jess-less, is it really worth having? Am secretly hoping they will either shift it later in the day or [hope hope hope] move it to another day).

I mean, I would like to enjoy the showers! If such a thing can happen. Showers are usually painfully boring, but I was looking forward to these since I was in the bridal party and actually know the bride well. More fun potential than the usual step-cousin-in-law-who-you-only-see-at-Christmas's shower, you know?

Right now I think I'll have to make a mad dash halfway through the first shower to make it to the tail end of the second. Positive Aspect: Only have to buy/throw together one shower outfit! Yay!

Also! Since Kristen the Republican Bride is having THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE at her wedding, I've been having night sweats wondering what I was going to have to pony up for the shower but it sounds like it's going to be low key and that Kristen's godmother is going to be doing the bulk of the planning and putting-together. And also, you know, the paying. Thank GOD. I can't entertain ten people, let alone a hundred! Word on the street is that there will be pot luck action and I will have to prepare a dish. I am not what you would call a cook, unless you define "cook" as "one who can turn on the oven and make a three-course meal consisting of salad in a bag, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, and slice-n-bake chocolate chip cookies". So my contribution to the shower will be interesting, especially since I will be bringing the dish to the second shower of the day, which will either mean (a) making something that will not go bad in the car while I am attending Shower Number One, or (b) storing the dish in the kitchen of Shower Number One. Do you think I could just bring multiple bags of potato chips? Ooh, like those snack-pack dealios? Varied individual bags? That could get expensive, though. Must ponder.

In other news: Did not go into work today due to Lingering Head/Chestcold of Doom. Have had it since last Monday, which accounts for my bad-moodiness for the past week, mostly because I also came down with a Puritan Work Ethic last week and didn't call in once even though I felt like death warmed over every day. I mean, I was really sick! I went to bed at 10PM! On multiple nights! Seriously! I haven't done that since I was in grade school. Once I hit sixth grade I got addicted to David Letterman and that's when the general 1AM Jess Bedtime came into effect. Today I still felt generally crappy and took a recovery day since the whole going-about-one's-business-as-usual-and-ignoring-it wasn't working.

Had to take a recovery day because the weekend was pretty active, a good portion of its three days having been spent in Lenox with the fam, since my parents have apparently missed the memo stating that my brother and I are 19 and 22 and not 9 and 12 and so they still plan a quick mini-vacay for every three-day-weekend and expect both of us to come along. Neither my brother or I really have the heart, motivation, or inclination to let them know otherwise, and so I suspect we'll be trodding off with Jim and Peg when we're 49 and 52 because we're Just That Pathetic.

Anyway! Weekend was good in general, with the requisite moments of agony and ecstasy to make any trip worth taking. The Agony: Friday night dinner, which began at 11:30 (!!) at night, at the end of a very long, annoying workday. And did I mention I was sick? We were seated directly under a speaker and roughly six feet away from the live music act, a folk trio which -- how can I put this gently? -- well, pretty much sucked. Oh, I feel so mean! They were really into it but also, well, really bad. One of them had a ncie voice and whenever the other two came in on harmony I felt like rushing the stage and tackling them. Also, we were so close to the stage that we couldn't even roll our eyes at each other and talk about how bad they were there because they were like five feet away! And could see us! Maybe they were just having an off night. Also, there was the added bonus of it being Valentine's Day and being surrounded by canoodling couples while being out with ONE'S PARENTS and not, you know, Justin Timberlake or Jim Rockford or, you know, even Creepy Maintenance Dude. I mean, I'm not particularly bitter over my (Not So) Swinging Single Existence, but there are moments where I get hints of the Bitter Old Lady I could become should JC never arrive on my doorstep to sweep me away.

The Ecstasy: This FABULOUS bookstore we found the next day, which wasn't all that big but had all these cool books and just excellent ambience, to use a word my grandfather loves. And really, I am the type of cool chick that hijacks her grandfather's vocabulary. And I bought books! Bonus: When I went back later in the day to pick up something for my mother and the bookstore owner guy asked to see what I'd bought earlier in the day, I pulled them out and he and his Snooty Bookstore Pals looked them over and were all "Oooh, good choices! You passed!" Usually I get reactions more in the vein of, "Are these for your thirteen year old sister?" so that was a thrill.

I also picked up a Jennifer Cruisie novel in the Stop 'n Shop on the way home and, naturally, dove into that one first. Devoured it today! She is like crack, man! Excellent stuff! Now I will move onto the thicker, more intimidating books. Really, I will. Really!

Actually, right now I think I'm going to dive into bed and watch my tape of Buffy since the Annoying Cough of Doom is back with a venegeance and that NyQuill I took a little while ago is just kicking in.


fearlesstemp: (Default)

February 2009

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